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Tomboys and Janegirls
#1
A tomboy as most know is a girl who prefers to dress, act and play like a boy, a Janegirl is a boy who prefers to do the same but as a girl.  The thing is tomboys are accepted by nearly everyone but Janegirls are not.  A boy who identifies as a janegirl is belittled for doing so.  Why can't boys be just as accepted as the tomboys are.  It restricts the imagination of said janegirl and places limits on the boys ability to learn all facets of life.  Mothers should teach their sons that being feminine is okay and does not restrict their ability to go as far in life as others.  
I would like to hear others opinions on this subject.  I know of several boys who like to wear dresses and play with dolls but are afraid to show this side of themselves.  I mean after all we are all basically the same with 23 sets of DNA, bot Y (male) and X (female) chromosomes.  So why shouldn't boys be allowed to dress in dresses since girls can wear male clothing without repute.
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#2
(01-10-2017, 05:44 PM)melodie Wrote: A tomboy as most know is a girl who prefers to dress, act and play like a boy, a Janegirl is a boy who prefers to do the same but as a girl.  The thing is tomboys are accepted by nearly everyone but Janegirls are not.  A boy who identifies as a janegirl is belittled for doing so.  Why can't boys be just as accepted as the tomboys are.  It restricts the imagination of said janegirl and places limits on the boys ability to learn all facets of life.  Mothers should teach their sons that being feminine is okay and does not restrict their ability to go as far in life as others.  
I would like to hear others opinions on this subject.  I know of several boys who like to wear dresses and play with dolls but are afraid to show this side of themselves.  I mean after all we are all basically the same with 23 sets of DNA, bot Y (male) and X (female) chromosomes.  So why shouldn't boys be allowed to dress in dresses since girls can wear male clothing without repute.

thank yuo Heart Heart Heart
I agree
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#3
Simply because girls/women are not considered equal to men! The day no one turns thier head to laugh or demean a feminine boy, will be the day we are all liberated for the influences of a partiarcle society!

On chromosome, look deeper! XX typical female XY typical male. But them
there are XXY, Xx, Xy, XXY! The masses refuse to look at!

Correction Xxy
Heart Dreaming of a softer more loving caring and nurturing kind of world Heart
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#4
(01-10-2017, 10:17 PM)JoanieB Wrote: Simply because girls/women are not considered equal to men! The day no one turns thier head to laugh or demean a feminine boy, will be the day we are all liberated for the influences of a partiarcle society!

On chromosome, look deeper! XX typical female XY typical male. But them
there are XXY, Xx, Xy, XXY! The masses refuse to look at!

Correction Xxy

Wait, what is an XXX, Xx, Xy and XXY? I have never heard of those.

(01-10-2017, 05:44 PM)melodie Wrote: A tomboy as most know is a girl who prefers to dress, act and play like a boy, a Janegirl is a boy who prefers to do the same but as a girl.  The thing is tomboys are accepted by nearly everyone but Janegirls are not.  A boy who identifies as a janegirl is belittled for doing so.  Why can't boys be just as accepted as the tomboys are.  It restricts the imagination of said janegirl and places limits on the boys ability to learn all facets of life.  Mothers should teach their sons that being feminine is okay and does not restrict their ability to go as far in life as others.  
I would like to hear others opinions on this subject.  I know of several boys who like to wear dresses and play with dolls but are afraid to show this side of themselves.  I mean after all we are all basically the same with 23 sets of DNA, bot Y (male) and X (female) chromosomes.  So why shouldn't boys be allowed to dress in dresses since girls can wear male clothing without repute.

That is the $64,000.00 question, for those who know what I'm talking about. I see absolutely nothing wrong with acceptance of Janegirls (is that a real term?), but as you point out the larger society does not sanction it. I think tomboys are generally accepted and even considered "cute" by some--the idea being that eventually they will give up trying to be the "stronger" sex and settle into their "rightful" feminine place in society and bear children. Whereas, janegirls are not generally tolerated because the fear is that they will not give up their feminine dress and actions and will instead become non-procreating sissies and queers (sorry, but it is still used perjoratively) and thereby add nothing to the human race. I think it is part of homophobia and the unacknowledged (by men) superiority of women, and the strongly repressed desire by many men to be feminine but because they can't show it, instead become hateful and repulsed by boys who are unafraid to embrace their feminine side. One day janeboys may be as common and accepted as tomboys, but i'll bet not in my lifetime.
Angry "Why you naughty little sissy!!! Bring me a fresh diaper and then fetch the paddle!!!"  Angry
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#5
Thanks Melodie, for your positive additions to my post. Janegirls are and should always be a valid expression and opinion for some boys. We are beginning to see it, and I'm hopping we see more and more of it. What's required are brave mothers and fathers who do not secum to social pressures, that risk allowing their sons to be who the naturally are. A very close friend of my partner met my girl side for the very first time this past weekend so of course the conversations where of kind. She has a teen son who has a sever autism. And he loves pretty, sparkly things. She has not allowed him to take them to school for fear of being austrasized more. He is a very strong and independent young man. I asked her if she thought he was strong enough to be confident expressing what he feels he wants to. She agreed and will now allow him to make the decision and let him observe and make future decisions on his choice of accessories.

Hi Kerri, I think the mere consideration that we think, "tomboys are CUTE" is proof enough that we are still very much condisending towards girls and women. Even the fact that today we are pushing girls to perform like men is also a reassurance that there is still very much an inequality. As long as this perseption is proliferated in society, misogyny will continue to permeate our thoughts. I do find Janegirl not used, except by the few in our community that understand is value. I find it a far better discription for feminine expressive boys then sissy, (though sometimes it can be an accolade, it is often denigrating) or those horrible words crossdress and transvestite. Jane girl at least a value to a feminine expressive boy.
I disagree with your assumption though, that even a Tomgirl will settle in to "rightful"(wtf?) place. Choices are opening up for women with each young woman coming into social rigor. And she is independently picking her desired role be it mommy or CEO or both!
Sissy and queer are pejorative. Until we point that out and change thier perspectives. The femininity will be admonished everytime a boy attempts to express it. Not sure how old you are Kerri? But I've seen a lot change in my 62 years, and each new 10 year cycle has brought about exponentially greater change. I'm hopeful that I see it in the next cycle. As an example. My oldest burley masculine son who is just forty this year believes in my courage honesty and integrity in living my transgender life openly. He wrote a big blog about stepping up and into the shoes I have filled all his life. (And more so because they are heels, LOL!)
Heart Dreaming of a softer more loving caring and nurturing kind of world Heart
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#6
I don't use the term "SISSY" as I find it to be a negative and demeaning term just like the "N"word for blacks or "FAG or QUEER" for homosexual males or females.
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#7
In the context associated with demeaning boys who dress enfem I completely agree. I'm am on a mission to end crossdress as well. The only reason why it's called crossdress is the exact reason a feminine boy should be called a Janegirl. The former is offensive as its seen as demented and socially unacceptable and refers to hiding in a closet. I don't find a word that puts people in the closet acceptable.

The other side of the coin, is when it's in terms of endearment. I have had from my large mixed families, aunts and cousins we call Sissy. And I'm not opposed to a sister calling her brother who might be transgender Sissy, if it's also a term of indearment for their courage to shine. And not a snikering condemnation.
Heart Dreaming of a softer more loving caring and nurturing kind of world Heart
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#8
The world has changed a lot in my 46 trips around our star. We have more and more people who are accepting of gay, queer, trans, and other variations on the gender or sexuality spectrum. When I was very young, being seen as 'GAY' or 'QUEER' was an invitation to getting the snot beat out of you. Nowadays, there are more people who are willing to stand up for someone who does not fall directly in one of the two piles that statistically are the majority for sexuality or gender.

It's a slow process, but we are starting to see the effects of it in our day to day lives. There are parents out there who let their little boys dress as Disney princesses, or have their hair or nails done like a girl (the Janegirl side of life) and the majority is accepting it. Likewise, the attitude regarding a Tomboy is changing as well, accepting that some females just have a more masculine personality and these people are not going to grow up to be 'BUTCH DYKES' any more than the little boy in an Elsa costume is going to grow up to be a 'QUEER'.

Our country has gone from an overwhelming majority showing disdain and exclusion to those who are different to where we now are closer to a simple majority as accepting. As time moves on, that acceptance will grow as people realize that those who are different in the way they approach life are just, well, they are just people, same as the rest of us.
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#9
Look, i did not mean to start a firestorm. Far from it; merely civil discourse. Look at my profile; do i look like someone who would use words like sissy and queer perjoratively? Come on now; don't bust my chops over it. But be realistic, janeboys are not accepted by 99% of parents or other children (except maybe girls) or by society as a whole. I am probably older than any of the other writers in this thread. I worked in the areas of education and social work for 25 years. I have seen ENORMOUS social changes in the area of sexual expression and equality. Gay marriage, glass ceilings broken, Dom/sub, B/D, S/M and others on the spectrum incorporated into mainstream media like TV and film---but all too often as sick or twisted on crime shows. Even books and films like "The Secretary" or "50 Shades of Grey" were readable or watchable but still considered "naughty". I come from where "Blue Velvet" was filmed; talk about a sick portrayal of the Domme Mommy/lil' relationship. Women's magazines still carry articles like "Managing Your Business and Your Children --You CAN Do It!" It is society through the media saying it's alright to be a CEO, just make sure you get the kids to school on time. No mention of making your husband doing it. And like it or not, the reason newspapers, magazines and news programs carry stories of parents who support and encourage their child's transgenderism is because it is still considered courageous. Hell, my state won't let TG's use the bathroom of the gender they identify with; they are legally bound to use the restroom of the sex listed on their birth certificate. I agree with everything said--again, look at my profile and postings--but acknowledge that the U.S is not just California, Oregon,  Washington State and the Northeast---it is also Oklahoma, Mississippi, Iowa, Utah, Kansas, Alabama,  Indiana and on and on. All i am saying, to paraphrase our newest Nobel Laureate, is that, "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows" but it ain't blowin' a hurricane just yet. That's all.
Angry "Why you naughty little sissy!!! Bring me a fresh diaper and then fetch the paddle!!!"  Angry
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#10
I'll throw my two cents worth in. First of all I don't mind the word sissy being used here one bit, I wouldn't have joined if it offended me. If fact I joined because I could use it to describe myself, my cross dressing has both a serious and a playful side and wearing a maid's dress is certainly considered a sissy thing for men to do and my wife has no problem with it. To me the word has always meant that a male has feminine characteristics of one form or another whether we like it or not. I have been on serious cross dresser sites and when I mentioned that I had a maid's dress I might as well have said I rob banks, friends I had made quit communicating with me like I had the plague. To me this site is playful and fun to read and see what others are into even if I have no inclination to follow suit. So whether the words sissy, transvestite, cross dresser, transgender or anything else are used I don't really care, life is too short to get hung up on what is said on a chat forum that has such a wide variety of interests. In short I've put on my big girl panties and am enjoying this site.
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