Breaking My Wife's Number One Prohibition

[sissysoft]

I hope you did confess, Kerri. Once you start hiding things from her - no matter what the consequences - the basics of the relationship start to look a little shaky.
So what's happened?

[kerri]

I hope you did confess, Kerri.  Once you start hiding things from her - no matter what the consequences - the basics of the relationship start to look a little shaky.  
So what's happened?

I am sorry to say i still have not told her. Since i wrote my original confession, and expressed how scared i was to tell my Wife (Domme Mommy) she has administered to me a few "maintenance spankings", simply "...because [i] need them."  They were just to my bottom, but they hurt a lot and i still had a mark or two from one of them a day or so later. Plus, she spanked the back and front of my thighs one night, which stung plenty, though to be honest she only used her hand and was tired and in bed when she called me to the side of the bed.[/i]
[i]If i told her now, i would have to confess to doing that "filthy, disgusting, completely unnecessary thing" another time. Telling her i did it once is scary enough; telling her i've done it twice is terrifying.
After this second time, i used my own bathbrush to deliver a very hard self-administered spanking that brought tears to my eyes, though i didn't actually cry. Still, it was practically negligible compared to what she would have done. No matter how many times i have been spanked in my life, i have never gotten used to it, which i guess is the whole point of giving/getting a spanking. Once it becomes "no big deal" it ceases to be useful for correcting behavior. 
I did consider putting myself into the chastity device my wife keeps, which i know where it is, but i didn't. 
Sissysoft, i am not afraid that our relationship is getting shaky, as you suggest. We have been together for close on 16 years and are both devoted to each other. Years ago, she told my mother on more than one occasion that she would take care of me, and she has tirelessly done that. I have fibbed to her in the past, i admit it, but i think most men fib to their wives occasionally, even sissies. I am not proud of it, but i am not denying it either.
The guilt i feel for what i have done twice now, in recent weeks, has not gone away. I don't imagine it will until i have confessed it to her and have received my punishment for it. Your reminder is well-meant and i thank you for it. You are right, of course, that i need to confess. I just have to get the courage to do it.[/i]

[Ali]

It's been over a month now, Kerri, and you've still not confessed.

Surely your wife is going to be even more mad at you now when she finds out. And she surely will find out.

Does she ever look at this forum? She must know you use it?

While I don't at all like the sound of the beating she's going to give you I do think you need to accept the fact that you are going to receive said beating, and own up. Yes it will hurt, maybe quite a lot, and it may hurt for a few days, but at least then your conscience will be clear. Your naughtiness must be playing on your mind, and you must remember what you did every time you see a pair of knickers.