09-08-2020, 12:47 AM
Prior to the pandemic we did a lot of business travel both domestically and abroad. This enabled my wife to "liven up boring security checks" at the airport by playing what she called her version of Russian Roulette. She would pack my hand luggage and once in a while add an item or two that would cause me immense embarrassment, should my bag be randomly checked. This wouldn't happen often and some of the times the contents were entirely innocent, but there have been a few occasions when she struck the bull's eye.
The worst one of all was getting picked out by a young and attractive lady customs officer who opened my bag and took out a tabard, PVC apron, rubber washing up gloves and a plastic nappy. All items were in a baby pink. The woman unfolded all the offending item and placed them on the table one by one with a puzzled look on her face. I think my face was even pinker than the PVC pinny she was holding up to examine.
What felt like hours (probably a few minutes) later, she shrugged her shoulders, repacked all my naughty items and allowed me to pass through without a word.
No question, if I could have died right there and then I would gladly have taken up the option. Mortal humiliation and embarrassment while my wife was laughing her back off. Â
The worst one of all was getting picked out by a young and attractive lady customs officer who opened my bag and took out a tabard, PVC apron, rubber washing up gloves and a plastic nappy. All items were in a baby pink. The woman unfolded all the offending item and placed them on the table one by one with a puzzled look on her face. I think my face was even pinker than the PVC pinny she was holding up to examine.
What felt like hours (probably a few minutes) later, she shrugged her shoulders, repacked all my naughty items and allowed me to pass through without a word.
No question, if I could have died right there and then I would gladly have taken up the option. Mortal humiliation and embarrassment while my wife was laughing her back off. Â

Always in strict uniform