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Self-Control versus Chastity Devices
#1
Like many sissies, I have long fantasised about being put into a chastity device, with any sexual release at the strict behest of a Dominant Lady.  Thoughts of being denied release for long periods were normal to me; I certaintly didn't think my sexual release would be mine to decide when the right Lady entered my life.  

Some nine months ago I met that Lady, the lovely MR; we are now a firm 'item'.  She knows all about my kinks, fetishes and sissy nature and has happily embraced taking the dominant role in our relationship.  And that includes sexual release.  

So I come when MR lets me come, and I'm not to come without her permission.  At home, when we're together, or when we're apart.  MR travels interstate and overseas frequently for work and when she's away I'm expected to control my urges and not play with myself.  I'm allowed to ask, and sometimes she will tell me to play with myself - she's a generous lady who loves sex and adores seeing me orgasm (thanks Skype!) or is happy just knowing I'm in the throws of orgasm, thinking of her.     

The thing is, we don't use a chastity device and in fact haven't even discussed using them.  Simply, I'm expected to control my urges, using self-discipline.  

I'm not claiming to be the perfect sub-sissy.  So far, I've been mostly good, with an occasional lapse, particularly in the early days of the relationship.  As time goes on I'm becoming more aware of controlling and directing any sexual urges that may arise and focusing my thoughts on the non-sexual nature of our relationship and of particular fetishes and kinks.  

I'm not saying that chastity devices are wrong, and who knows, perhaps they will eventually feature in MS and my relationship.  But it is interesting to experience this alternative 'chastity' model and know that it can work.  It's certainly illuminating:  channelling my thoughts towards Her, teaching me discipline and self-control and helping me honour and respect Her.  

Curious to hear what others think on this topic, especially any Women here.
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#2
Have you considered buying the chastity device of your choice, and gifting Ms. MR with it, for use as she pleases? That is exactly what I did. You will love the feeling and constant reminder of dedication it gives you.

If you choose to start with chastity, start slowly and have a spare key available. My wife kept a key glued into an envelope with her employer's logo on it, frozen into a coffee can filled with water and put on the freezer. If for some emergency purpose I needed the key I could always grab the can, but if I thawed the ice and retrieved the key it would be impossible for me to conceal that.

If you use plastic number seals, put a piece of black rubber hose over the seal to conceal the number, and have Ms. MR hide the other seals under lock and key. That way you cannot order duplicates and sneak some time out.

I have long thought that chastity and male behavior enforcement would be more widespread if the devices weren't designed with consensual adult relationships in mind. Many of the devices out there today are quite aesthetically pleasing and effective, and comfortable, but still a bit clunky for everyday wear. My personal wish was to have a chastity trio - my wife, my mother-law (who was really a successful and attractive woman), and my boss (at that time, female) - all knowledgeable of my chastity device and all agreeing to monitor my behavior and report to each other. Of course, given the circumstances of our lives, that was not feasible when I was married.

A new style of device that is intended for monitoring and reporting might work much better in situations outside of close personal relationships. I am thinking of a type of tyvek or plastic film device that seals shut with adhesive (no lock), is disposable, but can be used in conjunction with a fob that texts the monitor when the device is removed, or when the fob is not in proximity of the device.

In group settings, males entering meeting rooms, for example, could pass by a doorway reader that would detect the presence of a device. In social situations, female security guards could roam with a handheld detector wand and verify the presence of a device as they get close to a male.
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#3
Thanks Conway for your response though I think you've missed the point of my post. Am actually after people's thoughts on self-control rather than a physical device that stops playing / release. Do you have any observations on this?
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#4
(02-23-2019, 10:26 PM)sissysoft Wrote: Thanks Conway for your response though I think you've missed the point of my post.  Am actually after people's thoughts on self-control rather than a physical device that stops playing / release.  Do you have any observations on this?
Oh yes, perhaps I was a bit long-winded.

Self-restraint doesn't work. A device is necessary. It's not just about the physicality, its about the demonstration of commitment. Women are not as visual as men, but if she sees the device and knows she has control over it, she will love it.

You may want her to trust you with self-restraint, but if you trust her with the key, you will be making a far greater commitment that she will certainly appreciate.

I have gone as long as two weeks in chastity, after the third day, you will feel business as usual.
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#5
For some women it isn't believing that you won't misbehave that's important, it's knowing that you can't misbehave that's important. That's the power exchange that gives the thrill and it's the same for men as well. Promising to behave doesn't do it, knowing that you have no choice in the matter is what's exciting.
Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.
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#6
(04-17-2019, 09:48 AM)Paulette the Tart Wrote: For some women it isn't believing that you won't misbehave that's important, it's knowing that you can't misbehave that's important. That's the power exchange that gives the thrill and it's the same for men as well. Promising to behave doesn't do it, knowing that you have no choice in the matter is what's exciting.

Paulette it may be true for some women but not all.  Promising not to do 'it' is about trust, respect and a recognition you want to please your superior.  One or other method is neither better or the right way.  
The Femdomme manual, 'Uniquely Rika' emphasises the lack of physical devices in controlling sub male sexuality.  Worth reading and thinking about.  I know my Lady finds much that appeals with Ms Rika's approach.
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#7
Although we have a chastity device, the cb6000s, my wife uses it on rare occasions. Instead there is the threat of punishment which prevents me from cumming. Once I do have an orgasm, I don't listen as well and she can easily tell if I did so without her permission. Besides the punishment, there is also the let down or regret I have after having an orgasm. Going for extended periods until my wife says I am allowed to have an orgasm is a turn on for me.
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#8
(06-25-2019, 09:12 PM)Tolmanbridge Wrote: Although we have a chastity device, the cb6000s, my wife uses it on rare occasions.  Instead there is the threat of punishment which prevents me from cumming.  Once I do have an orgasm, I don't listen as well and she can easily tell if I did so without her permission.  Besides the punishment, there is also the let down or regret I have after having an orgasm.  Going for extended periods until my wife says I am allowed to have an orgasm is a turn on for me.

Going for extended periods without an orgasm until given permission is also a turn on for me Tolmanbridge.  In my case, made more intense by simply following her rule of not playing with myself rather than relying on a physical device.
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#9
I am also greatly turned on by periods of teasing and orgasm denial. We don't use a chastity device, but my wife sometimes declares that School Rules are in effect. This means that I must wear my girl's school uniform (regulation bottle green knickers, bottle green opaque tights, light green blouse, bottle green knee-length skirt, bottle green V-neck jumper and black shoes) unless she tells me otherwise. While I am wearing school uniform, I must be a good girl and no sexual activity of any kind is permitted. However, my wife knows that wearing my girl's school uniform is a huge turn-on for me in itself, and she also uses a lot of verbal teasing to press my fetish buttons and make sure that I have frequent erections in my school uniform knickers. This is hugely frustrating, knowing that each erection will just strain uselessly inside the tight fabric of my knickers for a while and then subside without having been touched. When she wants to get more physical, she tells me to change into my PE kit, in which the rule is that I may not touch myself, but I can touch or lick her as she directs, and she can touch me as much or as little as she pleases. I have spent many hours in my ballet outfit (white dance tights and a leotard) licking her to orgasm, or in my netball kit (bottle green polo shirt, bottle green gym knickers and short pleated bottle green wrap skirt) with her hand up my netball skirt, gently stroking the tented front of my nylon gym knickers, seeing how long she can keep me hard, or how close to orgasm she can take me without me ever quite getting there. After a while she stops and tells me to get changed back into my school uniform, and I can only wonder how long she will make me wear it this time, how many useless erections she will deliberately induce and then casually ignore, and how many more frustrating sessions there will be in my PE kit before I am eventually allowed to cum.
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#10
That’s a delightful way to tease a sissy, never heard of that method before.

Where did your wife get the idea from?

In general how long does she tease you before release?

Whilst in uniform do you make yourself useful doing chores or does she act like a tutor and set schoolwork right lines?

Governessj
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