BON4Micro2
Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Letter to Julie on Role Models for Boys
#1
Here is another letter to my magazine Christian Home:

I read with interest your article "Role Models for Boys," and can easily place myself in with other divorced or single mothers. My sister and my friends have told me, "Oh Sara, you should begin looking for a nice man to marry; your son Steven will need someone male to grow up with."

In my case, my ex-husband when he was with us, never was much of a role model for Steven. He never spent much time with him; never inquired about Steven's schooling, his interests, etc. So it's not as if Steven has anything to miss in terms of a father to look up to. 

Since my divorce I've tried to spend as much time with Steven as possible. I do believe that a woman, a mother, can provide a much more fulfilling role model figure, providing that she starts when the child is young enough and has not been overly exposed to the male influence. I can take him to baseball games, movies etc., and by being with me, allowing him to experience a feminine environment‚ÄĒhow feelings are expressed, how I converse with him and others‚ÄĒhe will eventually begin to adopt these same traits. Meaning to adopt the feminine way.¬†

I feel that the male role model is too much out of date for this period of time. It has been proven time after time that young boys under the care and upbringing of their father or male acquaintance will adopt habits that will either lead him into trouble at a very young age, or in time with more male direction teach him habits that will cause much heartache for him and others. A male role model is just not needed. 

I have decided to stop the sitter I have after trying to explain to her what I wished to accomplish with Steven. She seemed altogether not to understand, and above all, not to take what I was trying to explain to her seriously. I thought allowing her to stay on would do more harm than good. Instead I have arranged for my friend Jillian to watch over Steven in my absence. I have known her for a long time and trust her to the utmost. Although I have not fully told her about my plans for Steven's feminization, she knows my feelings about allowing little boys to be more involved in little-girl surroundings.

The more time a boy can spend with females, the better. I already take Steven shopping with me, we watch TV together, and I've stopped forbidding him from coming into my bedroom. I've started to invite him in, allowing him to observe what a female bedroom looks like, and explained all the bottles, creams, etc. on my vanity.

I've given him time to adjust to seeing me in different stages of dress and undress and created circumstances where I'll ask him to bring me a certain item of clothing, ask his opinion of how his mother looks and when he tells me, I make a big fuss over his liking it. Steven has not become a little angel, but I have honestly found myself enjoying him more and more. 

It has not been easy. The introduction of panties to Steven was very difficult. I had a hard time convincing myself that I should continue on because Steven just went into a temper tantrum that I thought I could not get hold of. 

Steven was out playing with a little girl from down the street. They were sitting on the porch sharing some cookies I had brought out to them when I heard her cry and run off the porch. I asked Steven what had happened; he said, "Nothing, Mommy. Jennifer just has a bad tummy ache." I didn't think any more of it until I received a phone call from her mother, telling me that Steven had hit her in the stomach because she wouldn't give him a cookie. I was hurt most by the fibbing. 

I ordered him up to my bedroom (femininity) and told him I was very disappointed in his actions. When I first began to read Christian Home, its articles about pantie training and the influence of feminization on small boys, I purchased some panties in Steven's size and put them away in my own lingerie drawer. I had followed the advice of one of your readers and for his very first panties had bought the plain white nylon panties. I don't know of what importance this is, but I thought for his beginning perhaps staying away from the frilly panties would be best for now.

Once in my room I told him of my anger and disappointment. I told him for his punishment, because Jennifer was a little girl‚ÄĒa little girl whom he had punched in the stomach‚ÄĒbecause of this, he was going to wear little-girl panties until I thought he had learned his lesson. I brought them out and told him to undress, which he has become used to in front of me. I saw the tears begin to form, the words, "Mommy, I won't do it again," etc. He began to cry, threw himself down on the floor and refused to get up.¬†

I don't know how you handle things like this, but I had no idea how I was going to get him into panties. I was at a loss. I ended up by telling him that he would stay in my bedroom until he had his panties on. Whenever he decided to do so he was to call me and I would come up. You couldn't imagine the screaming and yelling. 

I felt that in some way I failed that day. I wanted it to turn out as you have often written, "Put him in panties." I didn't find my experience to be that easy. It was more than an hour before I heard "Mommy." I called up and asked if he was ready for me. I barely heard a very low "Yes." I went in and he was sitting on my bed, panties pulled almost up where they belonged, and a very dejected Steven still sobbing his heart out. I sat by him on the bed and put my arms around him. I felt I had to try to explain that what I did was necessary, and for his own good. I don't think any of it sank in that day. He didn't talk much, sat pretty much silent by my side.  

I began to feel that perhaps I should relent and tell him, all right, you can take your panties off. Was I doing right? Was it what I wanted to do? Why I began to have doubts, I don't know. I did resist, and Steven wore his panties for the rest of the day and to bed. After a period of time he did start to come around, as far as talking and answering me. The next morning he came in my room, panties still on under his PJ's. I asked him if he was going to be a good little boy, never hurt little girls again, and above all, never fib to me again. He looked at me and said yes, he would be good. Before allowing him to take off his panties, I did explain to him that this was what was going to happen the next time and all after that, when he misbehaved and was naughty. That I was going to keep his panties in with my own, and that I would insist on panties for him if he wasn't a good little boy. 

This was several months ago, and since then Steven has been made to wear panties several times. Something has changed, though; we don't get the temper spells and screaming anymore, just the looks of dejection and shame I guess you would call it. We continue to do things together, to visit my friends together, but I'm finding myself in a situation where I seemed to have missed something.

I'm not sure if by placing Steven in panties for misbehaving, have I used that method of correction the wrong way? Christian Home says that Steven, or any other boy placed in panties only punishes himself by wearing them. Should I not have used panties as a punishment? Now when I want to show him, during his transformation period, how nice and soft panties are to wear, how good he will feel about himself, will that be possible to do? 

By me making him wear panties for being naughty, won't that conflict with what I am going to tell him about the wearing of feminine clothing and how proud I'll be of him? I know that once I can create something of a norm in how I want to proceed, I'll be fine. I would think that any confusion on Steven's part as to what I want to accomplish would be very bad at this point. I wonder if other mothers have the problems of understanding this format for changing little boys into sweet and understanding little girls as I do? 

Sara in MD

Dear Sara: You are right that it would be good for Steven to spend time with more females. If Jillian's daughter is
close to Steven's age, that would be another possibility. I do think it is important for him to interact with females while wearing girls' clothes. Right now he is probably terrified that something awful will happen if anyone finds out. It would be good to get him over this. You say you're not sure how accepting Jillian would be of Steven's feminization. I would suggest that the first time she sees him in a dress you say simply, "He's being punished." That should be enough of an explanation at first. Later on you can tell her Steven likes wearing girls' clothes. Hopefully by then it will be true. 

What to choose for a boy's first pair of panties? I'm not sure it really matters as long as he is vividly aware that they are in fact girls' panties. Should you start him with plain white panties or go for frilly, ultrafeminine underpants? I think that, wherever you start, you should graduate him to frilly panties in feminine pastels at an early point. The reason is <br /> that the most important argument you can give him for wearing girls' clothes is that they are pretty, but if you keep him in plain white panties, you can't use that argument. 

Certainly, white nylon panties can increase his self-esteem (if he lets them) because their softness makes him feel pampered, but that is about the limit of their usefulness. But perhaps some of our other readers might have some insights on this topic. 

That brings us to the big question, which concerns using cross-dressing as a punishment. How do you go from its being a punishment to encouraging the boy to enjoy wearing his feminine garments? The fact is that he will probably makes this transition on his own,  although it may take him a very long time to do so. A boy's antipathy to wearing feminine clothing is learned behavior, and it will slowly be unlearned over time as he is made to wear them, even as a punishment. 

There are things you can do to help him with this process of unlearning. You can tell him that the only reason his wearing girls' nylon panties is a punishment is because he thinks it is. Actually, it's fun to wear pretty clothes, and it is a joy to others as well. But his wrong attitude turns it into a punishment. You can tell him that he looks nice in girls' clothes. You can tell him that his mother likes to see him in pretty feminine clothing because of how nice he looks in them. You can tell him that he ought to wear pretty clothes just because it is so pleasing for others to see him in them. 

But before you do any of that, you should increase the time he spends in his lovely garments as a punishment. You started out by keeping him in panties for one day. This should be increased over time to two days, three days, and so on. He is probably getting at least partially accustomed to wearing them anyway, so while they may still be a punishment, they are not as effective as at first. Once he is spending a significant amount of time in his pretty clothes, you can talk to him about how nice he looks and how it is his bad attitude that is turning such nice garments into a punishment.
Reply
#2
That's a lovely letter. You can really feel the mother's concern about whether she should actually put her son into panties or not.

I remember being terribly ashamed at being put into panties as a punishment. But over time I got used to the humiliation and later grew to love wearing knickers and other girls' clothes.
Reply
#3
I still feel guilty about this letter which i published some 20 years ago. Apparently someone had written me suggesting that it would be best to start a boy in white nylon panties and then lead him up to frillier underpants over time. I should have nipped that idea in the bud before any other readers started copying it. I now think it is better to start him in colorful lace-trimmed girls' panties from the start. That way his mother can start complimenting him on how nice he looks in his pretty panties.

The importance of compliments was pointed out by psychologist Richard Ekins, who wrote that boys who are dressed as girls by their mothers will go on dressing by themselves because of the compliments they had received earlier on.

I now believe that the thing to tell Jillian is that Steven needs to be taught to respect girls. Here the incident involving the cookie should be front and center. Explain to Jillian (and to Steven too) that you want him to experience how it feels to be a girl. Get him a dress to go with his panties and turn him over to Jillian to practice putting on lipstick etc. have him wear his dress and panties all day, every day.

Psychologists call this procedure role playing, and it is quite effective for overcoming prejudice against others, this time girls. I think Jillian would have accepted the idea of having Steven experience girlhood first hand.

I had known about role playing since I started college, but I never connected it with feminization until later. If I had, things I have tried to do would have ben a lot easier.

P. S. ‚ÄĒ I actually corresponded with Professor Ekins for a while back in the 1990s after Peter Farrer showed him some copies of my magazine. He was at the time the world's leading authority on the psychology of crossdressing. I don't believe his work has been superseded.
Reply
#4
(08-20-2016, 09:49 AM)Ali Wrote: That's a lovely letter. You can really feel the mother's concern about whether she should actually put her son into panties or not.

I remember being terribly ashamed at being put into panties as a punishment. But over time I got used to the humiliation and later grew to love wearing knickers and other girls' clothes.

I too remember my first time wearing panties for punishment. I wasn't as young as the boy in the letter. I was eleven and approaching puberty. I think at that age, it is more humiliating, one has had more years to adapt to the male life style. hence anything feminine is more of an awareness. I'm not sure why erections are never mentioned, but for me they were just beginning, and very embarrassing in front of my mother. I do remember the panties were white and nylon....and for some reason (I know now) before mother had the panties up and in position, I had an erection. She chose to ignore my situation, but not before she told me why I was being made to wear panties for being a naughty boy. For me it was a double dose of humiliation....which I never forgot to this day.

(08-20-2016, 09:49 AM)Ali Wrote: That's a lovely letter. You can really feel the mother's concern about whether she should actually put her son into panties or not.

I remember being terribly ashamed at being put into panties as a punishment. But over time I got used to the humiliation and later grew to love wearing knickers and other girls' clothes.

Julie's letter makes it so clear and understanding, how important, and how in a gentle way, panties can affect a boys outlook on things feminine. A wonderful way to correct naughty behavior.
Reply
#5
(08-19-2016, 06:26 PM)Julie Wilson Wrote: Here is another letter to my magazine Christian Home:

I read with interest your article "Role Models for Boys," and can easily place myself in with other divorced or single mothers. My sister and my friends have told me, "Oh Sara, you should begin looking for a nice man to marry; your son Steven will need someone male to grow up with."

In my case, my ex-husband when he was with us, never was much of a role model for Steven. He never spent much time with him; never inquired about Steven's schooling, his interests, etc. So it's not as if Steven has anything to miss in terms of a father to look up to. 

Since my divorce I've tried to spend as much time with Steven as possible. I do believe that a woman, a mother, can provide a much more fulfilling role model figure, providing that she starts when the child is young enough and has not been overly exposed to the male influence. I can take him to baseball games, movies etc., and by being with me, allowing him to experience a feminine environment‚ÄĒhow feelings are expressed, how I converse with him and others‚ÄĒhe will eventually begin to adopt these same traits. Meaning to adopt the feminine way.¬†

I feel that the male role model is too much out of date for this period of time. It has been proven time after time that young boys under the care and upbringing of their father or male acquaintance will adopt habits that will either lead him into trouble at a very young age, or in time with more male direction teach him habits that will cause much heartache for him and others. A male role model is just not needed. 

I have decided to stop the sitter I have after trying to explain to her what I wished to accomplish with Steven. She seemed altogether not to understand, and above all, not to take what I was trying to explain to her seriously. I thought allowing her to stay on would do more harm than good. Instead I have arranged for my friend Jillian to watch over Steven in my absence. I have known her for a long time and trust her to the utmost. Although I have not fully told her about my plans for Steven's feminization, she knows my feelings about allowing little boys to be more involved in little-girl surroundings.

The more time a boy can spend with females, the better. I already take Steven shopping with me, we watch TV together, and I've stopped forbidding him from coming into my bedroom. I've started to invite him in, allowing him to observe what a female bedroom looks like, and explained all the bottles, creams, etc. on my vanity.

I've given him time to adjust to seeing me in different stages of dress and undress and created circumstances where I'll ask him to bring me a certain item of clothing, ask his opinion of how his mother looks and when he tells me, I make a big fuss over his liking it. Steven has not become a little angel, but I have honestly found myself enjoying him more and more. 

It has not been easy. The introduction of panties to Steven was very difficult. I had a hard time convincing myself that I should continue on because Steven just went into a temper tantrum that I thought I could not get hold of. 

Steven was out playing with a little girl from down the street. They were sitting on the porch sharing some cookies I had brought out to them when I heard her cry and run off the porch. I asked Steven what had happened; he said, "Nothing, Mommy. Jennifer just has a bad tummy ache." I didn't think any more of it until I received a phone call from her mother, telling me that Steven had hit her in the stomach because she wouldn't give him a cookie. I was hurt most by the fibbing. 

I ordered him up to my bedroom (femininity) and told him I was very disappointed in his actions. When I first began to read Christian Home, its articles about pantie training and the influence of feminization on small boys, I purchased some panties in Steven's size and put them away in my own lingerie drawer. I had followed the advice of one of your readers and for his very first panties had bought the plain white nylon panties. I don't know of what importance this is, but I thought for his beginning perhaps staying away from the frilly panties would be best for now.

Once in my room I told him of my anger and disappointment. I told him for his punishment, because Jennifer was a little girl‚ÄĒa little girl whom he had punched in the stomach‚ÄĒbecause of this, he was going to wear little-girl panties until I thought he had learned his lesson. I brought them out and told him to undress, which he has become used to in front of me. I saw the tears begin to form, the words, "Mommy, I won't do it again," etc. He began to cry, threw himself down on the floor and refused to get up.¬†

I don't know how you handle things like this, but I had no idea how I was going to get him into panties. I was at a loss. I ended up by telling him that he would stay in my bedroom until he had his panties on. Whenever he decided to do so he was to call me and I would come up. You couldn't imagine the screaming and yelling. 

I felt that in some way I failed that day. I wanted it to turn out as you have often written, "Put him in panties." I didn't find my experience to be that easy. It was more than an hour before I heard "Mommy." I called up and asked if he was ready for me. I barely heard a very low "Yes." I went in and he was sitting on my bed, panties pulled almost up where they belonged, and a very dejected Steven still sobbing his heart out. I sat by him on the bed and put my arms around him. I felt I had to try to explain that what I did was necessary, and for his own good. I don't think any of it sank in that day. He didn't talk much, sat pretty much silent by my side.  

I began to feel that perhaps I should relent and tell him, all right, you can take your panties off. Was I doing right? Was it what I wanted to do? Why I began to have doubts, I don't know. I did resist, and Steven wore his panties for the rest of the day and to bed. After a period of time he did start to come around, as far as talking and answering me. The next morning he came in my room, panties still on under his PJ's. I asked him if he was going to be a good little boy, never hurt little girls again, and above all, never fib to me again. He looked at me and said yes, he would be good. Before allowing him to take off his panties, I did explain to him that this was what was going to happen the next time and all after that, when he misbehaved and was naughty. That I was going to keep his panties in with my own, and that I would insist on panties for him if he wasn't a good little boy. 

This was several months ago, and since then Steven has been made to wear panties several times. Something has changed, though; we don't get the temper spells and screaming anymore, just the looks of dejection and shame I guess you would call it. We continue to do things together, to visit my friends together, but I'm finding myself in a situation where I seemed to have missed something.

I'm not sure if by placing Steven in panties for misbehaving, have I used that method of correction the wrong way? Christian Home says that Steven, or any other boy placed in panties only punishes himself by wearing them. Should I not have used panties as a punishment? Now when I want to show him, during his transformation period, how nice and soft panties are to wear, how good he will feel about himself, will that be possible to do? 

By me making him wear panties for being naughty, won't that conflict with what I am going to tell him about the wearing of feminine clothing and how proud I'll be of him? I know that once I can create something of a norm in how I want to proceed, I'll be fine. I would think that any confusion on Steven's part as to what I want to accomplish would be very bad at this point. I wonder if other mothers have the problems of understanding this format for changing little boys into sweet and understanding little girls as I do? 

Sara in MD

Dear Sara: You are right that it would be good for Steven to spend time with more females. If Jillian's daughter is
close to Steven's age, that would be another possibility. I do think it is important for him to interact with females while wearing girls' clothes. Right now he is probably terrified that something awful will happen if anyone finds out. It would be good to get him over this. You say you're not sure how accepting Jillian would be of Steven's feminization. I would suggest that the first time she sees him in a dress you say simply, "He's being punished." That should be enough of an explanation at first. Later on you can tell her Steven likes wearing girls' clothes. Hopefully by then it will be true. 

What to choose for a boy's first pair of panties? I'm not sure it really matters as long as he is vividly aware that they are in fact girls' panties. Should you start him with plain white panties or go for frilly, ultrafeminine underpants? I think that, wherever you start, you should graduate him to frilly panties in feminine pastels at an early point. The reason is <br /> that the most important argument you can give him for wearing girls' clothes is that they are pretty, but if you keep him in plain white panties, you can't use that argument. 

Certainly, white nylon panties can increase his self-esteem (if he lets them) because their softness makes him feel pampered, but that is about the limit of their usefulness. But perhaps some of our other readers might have some insights on this topic. 

That brings us to the big question, which concerns using cross-dressing as a punishment. How do you go from its being a punishment to encouraging the boy to enjoy wearing his feminine garments? The fact is that he will probably makes this transition on his own,  although it may take him a very long time to do so. A boy's antipathy to wearing feminine clothing is learned behavior, and it will slowly be unlearned over time as he is made to wear them, even as a punishment. 

There are things you can do to help him with this process of unlearning. You can tell him that the only reason his wearing girls' nylon panties is a punishment is because he thinks it is. Actually, it's fun to wear pretty clothes, and it is a joy to others as well. But his wrong attitude turns it into a punishment. You can tell him that he looks nice in girls' clothes. You can tell him that his mother likes to see him in pretty feminine clothing because of how nice he looks in them. You can tell him that he ought to wear pretty clothes just because it is so pleasing for others to see him in them. 

But before you do any of that, you should increase the time he spends in his lovely garments as a punishment. You started out by keeping him in panties for one day. This should be increased over time to two days, three days, and so on. He is probably getting at least partially accustomed to wearing them anyway, so while they may still be a punishment, they are not as effective as at first. Once he is spending a significant amount of time in his pretty clothes, you can talk to him about how nice he looks and how it is his bad attitude that is turning such nice garments into a punishment.
Julie, that was such a wonderful letter. It explained so clearly the thoughts of both sides of the story. The explanation concerning how important it was to enforce the wearing of panties, even to suggesting that white nylon panties (at first) was most appoperate for the beginning of feminization. It explained how one must be prepared to stay the course...even through the screaming and crying. Do you have any other letters? Love to read them.

Ashley
Reply
#6
(08-29-2016, 04:33 PM)Femboy Wrote:
(08-19-2016, 06:26 PM)Julie Wilson Wrote: Here is another letter to my magazine Christian Home:

I read with interest your article "Role Models for Boys," and can easily place myself in with other divorced or single mothers. My sister and my friends have told me, "Oh Sara, you should begin looking for a nice man to marry; your son Steven will need someone male to grow up with."

In my case, my ex-husband when he was with us, never was much of a role model for Steven. He never spent much time with him; never inquired about Steven's schooling, his interests, etc. So it's not as if Steven has anything to miss in terms of a father to look up to. 

Since my divorce I've tried to spend as much time with Steven as possible. I do believe that a woman, a mother, can provide a much more fulfilling role model figure, providing that she starts when the child is young enough and has not been overly exposed to the male influence. I can take him to baseball games, movies etc., and by being with me, allowing him to experience a feminine environment‚ÄĒhow feelings are expressed, how I converse with him and others‚ÄĒhe will eventually begin to adopt these same traits. Meaning to adopt the feminine way.¬†

I feel that the male role model is too much out of date for this period of time. It has been proven time after time that young boys under the care and upbringing of their father or male acquaintance will adopt habits that will either lead him into trouble at a very young age, or in time with more male direction teach him habits that will cause much heartache for him and others. A male role model is just not needed. 

I have decided to stop the sitter I have after trying to explain to her what I wished to accomplish with Steven. She seemed altogether not to understand, and above all, not to take what I was trying to explain to her seriously. I thought allowing her to stay on would do more harm than good. Instead I have arranged for my friend Jillian to watch over Steven in my absence. I have known her for a long time and trust her to the utmost. Although I have not fully told her about my plans for Steven's feminization, she knows my feelings about allowing little boys to be more involved in little-girl surroundings.

The more time a boy can spend with females, the better. I already take Steven shopping with me, we watch TV together, and I've stopped forbidding him from coming into my bedroom. I've started to invite him in, allowing him to observe what a female bedroom looks like, and explained all the bottles, creams, etc. on my vanity.

I've given him time to adjust to seeing me in different stages of dress and undress and created circumstances where I'll ask him to bring me a certain item of clothing, ask his opinion of how his mother looks and when he tells me, I make a big fuss over his liking it. Steven has not become a little angel, but I have honestly found myself enjoying him more and more. 

It has not been easy. The introduction of panties to Steven was very difficult. I had a hard time convincing myself that I should continue on because Steven just went into a temper tantrum that I thought I could not get hold of. 

Steven was out playing with a little girl from down the street. They were sitting on the porch sharing some cookies I had brought out to them when I heard her cry and run off the porch. I asked Steven what had happened; he said, "Nothing, Mommy. Jennifer just has a bad tummy ache." I didn't think any more of it until I received a phone call from her mother, telling me that Steven had hit her in the stomach because she wouldn't give him a cookie. I was hurt most by the fibbing. 

I ordered him up to my bedroom (femininity) and told him I was very disappointed in his actions. When I first began to read Christian Home, its articles about pantie training and the influence of feminization on small boys, I purchased some panties in Steven's size and put them away in my own lingerie drawer. I had followed the advice of one of your readers and for his very first panties had bought the plain white nylon panties. I don't know of what importance this is, but I thought for his beginning perhaps staying away from the frilly panties would be best for now.

Once in my room I told him of my anger and disappointment. I told him for his punishment, because Jennifer was a little girl‚ÄĒa little girl whom he had punched in the stomach‚ÄĒbecause of this, he was going to wear little-girl panties until I thought he had learned his lesson. I brought them out and told him to undress, which he has become used to in front of me. I saw the tears begin to form, the words, "Mommy, I won't do it again," etc. He began to cry, threw himself down on the floor and refused to get up.¬†

I don't know how you handle things like this, but I had no idea how I was going to get him into panties. I was at a loss. I ended up by telling him that he would stay in my bedroom until he had his panties on. Whenever he decided to do so he was to call me and I would come up. You couldn't imagine the screaming and yelling. 

I felt that in some way I failed that day. I wanted it to turn out as you have often written, "Put him in panties." I didn't find my experience to be that easy. It was more than an hour before I heard "Mommy." I called up and asked if he was ready for me. I barely heard a very low "Yes." I went in and he was sitting on my bed, panties pulled almost up where they belonged, and a very dejected Steven still sobbing his heart out. I sat by him on the bed and put my arms around him. I felt I had to try to explain that what I did was necessary, and for his own good. I don't think any of it sank in that day. He didn't talk much, sat pretty much silent by my side.  

I began to feel that perhaps I should relent and tell him, all right, you can take your panties off. Was I doing right? Was it what I wanted to do? Why I began to have doubts, I don't know. I did resist, and Steven wore his panties for the rest of the day and to bed. After a period of time he did start to come around, as far as talking and answering me. The next morning he came in my room, panties still on under his PJ's. I asked him if he was going to be a good little boy, never hurt little girls again, and above all, never fib to me again. He looked at me and said yes, he would be good. Before allowing him to take off his panties, I did explain to him that this was what was going to happen the next time and all after that, when he misbehaved and was naughty. That I was going to keep his panties in with my own, and that I would insist on panties for him if he wasn't a good little boy. 

This was several months ago, and since then Steven has been made to wear panties several times. Something has changed, though; we don't get the temper spells and screaming anymore, just the looks of dejection and shame I guess you would call it. We continue to do things together, to visit my friends together, but I'm finding myself in a situation where I seemed to have missed something.

I'm not sure if by placing Steven in panties for misbehaving, have I used that method of correction the wrong way? Christian Home says that Steven, or any other boy placed in panties only punishes himself by wearing them. Should I not have used panties as a punishment? Now when I want to show him, during his transformation period, how nice and soft panties are to wear, how good he will feel about himself, will that be possible to do? 

By me making him wear panties for being naughty, won't that conflict with what I am going to tell him about the wearing of feminine clothing and how proud I'll be of him? I know that once I can create something of a norm in how I want to proceed, I'll be fine. I would think that any confusion on Steven's part as to what I want to accomplish would be very bad at this point. I wonder if other mothers have the problems of understanding this format for changing little boys into sweet and understanding little girls as I do? 

Sara in MD

Dear Sara: You are right that it would be good for Steven to spend time with more females. If Jillian's daughter is
close to Steven's age, that would be another possibility. I do think it is important for him to interact with females while wearing girls' clothes. Right now he is probably terrified that something awful will happen if anyone finds out. It would be good to get him over this. You say you're not sure how accepting Jillian would be of Steven's feminization. I would suggest that the first time she sees him in a dress you say simply, "He's being punished." That should be enough of an explanation at first. Later on you can tell her Steven likes wearing girls' clothes. Hopefully by then it will be true. 

What to choose for a boy's first pair of panties? I'm not sure it really matters as long as he is vividly aware that they are in fact girls' panties. Should you start him with plain white panties or go for frilly, ultrafeminine underpants? I think that, wherever you start, you should graduate him to frilly panties in feminine pastels at an early point. The reason is <br /> that the most important argument you can give him for wearing girls' clothes is that they are pretty, but if you keep him in plain white panties, you can't use that argument. 

Certainly, white nylon panties can increase his self-esteem (if he lets them) because their softness makes him feel pampered, but that is about the limit of their usefulness. But perhaps some of our other readers might have some insights on this topic. 

That brings us to the big question, which concerns using cross-dressing as a punishment. How do you go from its being a punishment to encouraging the boy to enjoy wearing his feminine garments? The fact is that he will probably makes this transition on his own,  although it may take him a very long time to do so. A boy's antipathy to wearing feminine clothing is learned behavior, and it will slowly be unlearned over time as he is made to wear them, even as a punishment. 

There are things you can do to help him with this process of unlearning. You can tell him that the only reason his wearing girls' nylon panties is a punishment is because he thinks it is. Actually, it's fun to wear pretty clothes, and it is a joy to others as well. But his wrong attitude turns it into a punishment. You can tell him that he looks nice in girls' clothes. You can tell him that his mother likes to see him in pretty feminine clothing because of how nice he looks in them. You can tell him that he ought to wear pretty clothes just because it is so pleasing for others to see him in them. 

But before you do any of that, you should increase the time he spends in his lovely garments as a punishment. You started out by keeping him in panties for one day. This should be increased over time to two days, three days, and so on. He is probably getting at least partially accustomed to wearing them anyway, so while they may still be a punishment, they are not as effective as at first. Once he is spending a significant amount of time in his pretty clothes, you can talk to him about how nice he looks and how it is his bad attitude that is turning such nice garments into a punishment.
Julie, that was such a wonderful letter. It explained so clearly the thoughts of both sides of the story. The explanation concerning how important it was to enforce the wearing of panties, even to suggesting that white nylon panties (at first) was most appoperate for the beginning of feminization. It explained how one must be prepared to stay the course...even through the screaming and crying. Do you have any other letters? Love to read them.

Ashley

Julie, this is one of my favorite parts of your letter. I hope your not mad at me for quoting it.

I've given him time to adjust to seeing me in different stages of dress and undress and created circumstances where I'll ask him to bring me a certain item of clothing, ask his opinion of how his mother looks and when he tells me, I make a big fuss over his liking it. Steven has not become a little angel, but I have honestly found myself enjoying him more and more. 

I would think having to bring you items of your clothing, while embarrassing for a boy to do, it educates him in the different items of female clothing, such as panties, bras, slips, along with being able to fulfil his mother's wishes. One of the best ways to interest a son in femininity is to allow him to see his mother wearing each item, and learning for instance, how a bra is worn. Most important is the love that will flow from son to mother......femininity will do that for a teenage boy. 

(08-21-2016, 10:10 PM)Julie Wilson Wrote: I still feel guilty about this letter which i published some 20 years ago. Apparently someone had written me suggesting that it would be best to start a boy in white nylon panties and then lead him up to frillier underpants over time. I should have nipped that idea in the bud before any other readers started copying it. I now think it is better to start him in colorful lace-trimmed girls' panties from the start. That way his mother can start complimenting him on how nice he looks in his pretty panties.

The importance of compliments was pointed out by psychologist Richard Ekins, who wrote that boys who are dressed as girls by their mothers will go on dressing by themselves because of the compliments they had received earlier on.

I now believe that the thing to tell Jillian is that Steven needs to be taught to respect girls. Here the incident involving the cookie should be front and center. Explain to Jillian (and to Steven too) that you want him to experience how it feels to be a girl. Get him a dress to go with his panties and turn him over to Jillian to practice putting on lipstick etc. have him wear his dress and panties all day, every day.

Psychologists call this procedure role playing, and it is quite effective for overcoming prejudice against others, this time girls. I think Jillian would have accepted the idea of having Steven experience girlhood first hand.

I had known about role playing since I started college, but I never connected it with feminization until later. If I had, things I have tried to do would have ben a lot easier.

P. S. ‚ÄĒ I actually corresponded with Professor Ekins for a while back in the 1990s after Peter Farrer showed him some copies of my magazine. He was at the time the world's leading authority on the psychology of crossdressing. I don't believe his work has been superseded.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
BON4plus

About Petticoat Discipline Quarterly

Focus MyBB Theme is designed for MyBB 1.8 series and is tested properly till the most current version of MyBB i.e. 1.8.7. It is simple, clean and light MyBB theme with use of font-awesome icons and shrinking header.

For any more information, please use our contact form.

              User Links