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Feminization vs petticoat discipline
Reading through many of the posts here, there are examples of parents doing both feminization of boys and also petticoat discipline. The petticoat discipline was to curb behavior issues seen by the parents, while the feminization was not necessarily used to control behavior but for other reasons. These range from desires to have a girl instead of a boy, trying to head off potential future issues with learning behaviors from others, or just plain convenience.

I spent a large amount of time as a teenager wearing dresses and skirts and dressing as a girl, stemming from a night where I was curious and asked my mother what it was like to be a girl. To really find out, my mom felt the only way to learn was to do it myself, to dress as a girl. Of course, when she noticed that first night that I liked it and I admitted that I would dress again if the clothes were made available, she took that as a cue to get me my own things to dress on a regular basis. Based on things said by mom over the years, she seemed to want to push me towards being feminine: she had wanted a girl when I was born, and there was a very bitter divorce from my father who I looked like and had very similar personality traits with.

So there's a lot of questions that come up regarding all of it for me that I don't know I'll ever have full answers to. Was there any one driving factor behind my dressing? How much did different things come into play with it? I'm fairly certain mom had strong desires to feminize me, and my stepfather was definitely not one to stand in the way of what she wanted. On top of that, I think he saw it as an easy way to pacify things among the kids; with all of us as girls, I was no longer the odd one out. From there, I know there were many times I enjoyed dressing up, but I also question if my enjoyment stemmed from liking being feminine or from the special treatment I got from my mom and stepfather.

I know that the way I was treated with different things over the years certainly influenced how I felt about things. I was in diapers until almost ten for bedwetting, and getting diapered by mom every night was one where she let me know she wasn't happy about it and I certainly didn't like having to be in diapers. When I went to visit one of my aunts, she had a much different attitude about it, helping me bathe and dry off, then gently powdering me and diapering me for bed lovingly. When visiting there, I had no problem with being in diapers. With me dresses, mom was very accepting and affectionate toward me when I dressed as a girl, which certainly helped me want to do it more.

With several years of dressing, there are a few strong memories that stand out in my mind (I think because of them being a new or different experience) compared to hundreds of just putting on a dress for the day. I'm more than happy to share these with anyone who wants to hear about them, so feel free to ask.
My mother also wanted 2 girls and 2 boys but got 3 boys instead and 1 girl. Unlike my brothers I was never into sports but did enjoy music, dance and art. I never played baseball, football or even basketball. When I was 12 I became very ill and unable to walk. My mother had to dress me from the skin out. One day a aunt saw my mother struggling to dress me after giving me a bath and suggested to her it would be easier to dress me in dress than pants. My mom thought it over and agreed with her. Soon I was in dresses and panties and they became a regular part of my clothing. I was in a wheelchair for about a year and wore dresses everywhere including the doctor and physical therapist offices. The nurse there said I looked cute in my dresses. By the time I was back walking again my closets overflowed with dresses and full slips. These dresses were donated to me from the same aunt who suggested to mom that I be dressed. Even though I had began to get along again mom kept me wearing dresses, permed my hair and began calling me Melodie. I enjoyed the extra attention I got and saw mom preferred me as a girl. So I adapted into that way of life. Yes I had become more of girl and even further away from typical boy things. So feminization was what happened and no petticoat punishment was ever needed.
Melodie, I understand that you also were one that didn't get put into dresses for punishment but for other reasons. While I understand the forum here is supposed to be about petticoat discipline, I think that people like you and I (among others) use places like these because it's one of few places that have any level of understanding of us, let alone acceptance. There's a lot of places devoted to crossdressers, but almost everyone there was a closet crossdresser when younger, the same sort of thing with transgender applies as well. So we're a little more rare when it comes to this sort of thing, where mom not only knew but was an active participant in guiding us toward femininity.

I think a lot of the reason we find ourselves accepted here is that most people everywhere else regard putting a boy in a dress (or diapers, panties, etc.) for any reason (other than the child explicitly asking for it) constitutes child abuse. For us, we have fond memories of running around in a sundress, feeling the cool breeze on our legs, and the times spent with mom doing girly things. While it may not be something we do now as adults, we accept what happened and are not bitter about it, we certainly don't feel like we were abused. Of course, on this forum, placing a male into feminine garb is encouraged, so we certainly feel at home.

Granted, the time frame in which we grew up was certainly one where parents were given much more leeway in what they could do with their kids and someone crying 'child abuse' and calling child services didn't really happen. I remember when the laws were passed that teachers and doctors became required to report suspected cases of physical child abuse to the authorities, and we're talking about regular welts, bruises, and broken bones, nothing like what is considered abuse today.

One thing I notice with a lot of the memories we share is that the father is often not around for some reason. I think that definitely changes the dynamic in a family and makes it easier for a mother to feminize a boy; the father sees the boy as a representation of himself and doesn't want the boy feminized anymore than he wants it done to himself. When a stepfather comes into the picture, the same doesn't hold true since the boy isn't his own child.
I did have a stepfather but he wasn't really involved in my upbringing. When my stepfather saw me in dresses he seemed to be somewhat okay with it. He knew I was never going to be a jock, he knew I was quiet and very reserved but also knew I was very intelligent (my IQ is 148). I knew boys didn't wear dresses but could never understand why not? It was my grandmother who told me that boys did wear dresses and skirts and even showed me pictures of my uncles wearing them when they were boys (pre-world war II). So today I think boys should be returned to be able to wear dresses but the styles should be updated to reflect the styles today. (Search "When Boys Wore Dresses and Skirts" then click on images). I have researched this so it is true.
(07-09-2016, 12:11 PM)melodie Wrote: I did have a stepfather but he wasn't really involved in my upbringing.  When my stepfather saw me in dresses he seemed to be somewhat okay with it.  He knew I was never going to be a jock, he knew I was quiet and very reserved but also knew I was very intelligent (my IQ is 148). I knew boys didn't wear dresses but could never understand why not?  It was my grandmother who told me that boys did wear dresses and skirts and even showed me pictures of my uncles wearing them when they were boys (pre-world war II).  So today I think boys should be returned to be able to wear dresses but the styles should be updated to reflect the styles today. (Search "When Boys Wore Dresses and Skirts" then click on images).  I have researched this so it is true.

Melodie, I do understand that boys did wear dresses for many years. I also am similar to you in terms of personality and intelligence (IQ over 140). You and I both sound very similar in temperament and the way we look at the world--using logic rather than raw emotion.

Still, it leaves me wondering what you felt the first time your mother had panties and a dress for you to wear instead of your regular clothes. What did your stepfather say the first time he saw you, and how did your siblings react? This is another important part of the telling of these experiences, which is the reactions of those involved. Did you use the ladies room when out and about in a dress? I know from my experiences with everything that there was a lot to come to terms with as to how society views men vs. women and my place, acceptance of what I did growing up, and understanding of my emotions handling it all. You probably have had a bit more time coming to terms with it, I was born in 1970 whereas I think I remember you saying you were born well before that.
I was born in 1950 and grew up in Ohio, USA. I wasn't embarrassed being in a dress. My siblings never teased me because of my illness. I had friends both male and female and they never belittled me for wearing them. Like I said before a couple of my male friends even got to wear some of my dresses and their mothers knew about it. Luckily I never had to wear leg braces like a friend of mine did who developed Polio. His mother also put him in dresses and skirts because of the ease of dressing her son. I hate it when a boy is called a name for wearing a piece of clothing that society deems to be strictly male or female, wearing a dress does not make a person gay nor is he a sissy.
It's rare to hear about areas where things like this happened and teasing or embarrassment didn't occur. The problem isn't always with family or friends and how they react, but often with others who know you are a boy and see you dressed as a girl, like school mates. Some of those people can be dangerous, and during the time frame during which we grew up, there would have usually been little help from authorities for anything that happened to us, they could be just as closed-minded and bigoted. The bigotry and violence that could be directed at a boy who was viewed as effeminate by some of the kids at school was pretty bad. I know I was quite fearful of other kids finding out about my dressing, they were already fairly hard on me for focusing on academics and not being good at sports.

I also had friends that didn't belittle me or tease me for wearing as well, one was a closet crossdresser who envied me incredibly because I got panties and bras which would have been utterly taboo for him to have in his strict Catholic household. He enjoyed borrowing some of mine to wear whenever he was over, but didn't seem to like dresses or skirts, just the underwear. Another didn't seem to care either way, though it led to a one night thing between us when we were college aged.

I'm definitely glad to see that our society is much more accepting today of boys wearing dresses or acting feminine. Additionally, I'm glad to see we have vaccines for crippling diseases like polio. Being put in dresses or skirts is nothing compared to the hardship that would place on your life. Hopefully we can get the anti-vaxxer movement squashed in this country at the same time we squash the ridiculous attitudes about who is allowed to wear what for clothing.
I agree with you and will go further and suggest that department stores should put dresses and skirts in the boys and mens sections of the stores. Women and girls can go into their sections and get everything from pants to skirts and males should have these same offering. Actually I believe that the clothing sections should be just listed as children's and adults but by the gender names now associated with them.
This is such a complex issue for me.  I didn't discover the concepts of petticoating or feminization until quite late in my life.  Now they seem such a natural and logical process I can't believe it took me so long to get them.  When I look at the direction our male dominated society is taking I can't believe the rest of the world hasn't come to some very obvious conclusions.

Like many sissies here, I felt the tug towards feminine dress and behavior as a child.  I'm pretty sure my Mom would have loved to indulge me if she thought it was acceptable, but alas, she was a product of the same male dominated world as I.  I know that, after two boys, she really wanted a girl instead of me.

Then I bounced the other way.  Girly behavior was "out" so I acted out.  At this stage what I really needed was some basic petticoat discipline.

The thing is, there are no 100% males or females in this world.  What we as a society need to do is recognize this fact.  In the context of this discussion, male behavior isn't "bad" per se, it just needs to be put in its proper place.  I think all men should be petticoated on a regular basis throughout their lives to acquaint them with a feminine perspective on life.  Some actually need feminization to repress their worst behavior.

The whole issue is further complicated by our repression and denial of any femininity in the ideal male, which we know is not realistic.  In an ideal world guided by a feminine sense of accepting and embracing everyone, neither feminization nor pettticoating would be needed because we could all simply be ourselves.  The concept of humiliation would be out the window.
It most certainly is a complex issue. It's fortunate that society is becoming more accepting of differences in sexuality and gender. I don't think the problem is so much that our society is male-dominated (honestly, there are a huge number of females behind the scenes using the males as their puppets), but instead that gender roles have been so rigidly defined. Males always had to be strong, not show emotion, always take charge when things went bad, and lay down their lives to protect everyone and everything else. Females were always nurturing, teaching, caring, ruled by their emotions and falling apart when bad things happened. That divide forced people into roles they were not good at doing, and changing this mindset is being resisted in a lot of places because 'we've always done it that way'. Heck, look at how often divorce ended up with the mother getting full custody of the kids over the years; in the 70's women were automatically granted full custody and it took some serious work to get anything else, whereas now it is moving towards equality.

What seems to be helping us to achieve the most we can right now in society is that people are realizing there are traits that belong to both genders, and those traits that were traditionally considered 'masculine' are there in women, and the 'feminine' traits are there in men. It's no longer seen as a problem when someone shows traits that are often considered to belong to the opposing gender--men cry and get upset in bad situations, or are gentle and soft holding a baby in their arms. Women are more and more in the positions of power (including the front-running presidential candidate), and taking control of rough situations.

I don't think we need to go to a society where the women are wearing the business suits and running things while the men are dolled up in short skirts with makeup and painted nails. Reversing the roles completely would be just as disastrous as the way things had been run. Instead, we need the roles equalized. I think we're in bad shape if a parent has to place their son into dresses or skirts to punish them and make them behave; femininity should never be seen a bad thing. When we can get to the point where a parent gives their child a pair of panties and a sundress to wear for the day and nobody cares whether the child is a girl or boy, the world will be a much better place.

We'll get there slowly--as the previous generations die out and the new ones grow up, acceptance of things like this grows. Someone who grew up with a 'macho' father becomes friends with a more effeminate boy and realizes there's nothing wrong with it. Now, their son grows up to be accepting of both feminine and masculine things, and their child more so. We've gotten there with allowing gay marriage, the rest just takes time. Those of us who grew up experiencing both sides of the equation when the roles were so much more rigidly defined seem to be some of the biggest champions for equality. I learned firsthand that girls don't have a more difficult life compared to boys, but instead each gender faces their own difficulties.

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