BON4Micro2
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Gift or Curse?
#1
As I read some of the posts here it is easy to see that some are comfortable with having been feminized and others are not too sure about what it all means. It is a well known fact that that many have had to deal with guilt and shame and have purged their girly things over and over. For the record I have never purged a single thing.

So the question is: Do you feel your feminization has been a gift or a curse? My own feelings is that it has been a gift but I do wish I could have started much younger as many have with their mothers teaching them to be lady-like.
Reply
#2
I love knowing that it has been a gift for you to discover femininity, that makes me convinced that I am doing the right thing. I think that very few may think that this is a punishment, it is possible that at first they think about it, but then when they enjoy it they appreciate it.
Reply
#3
Curse then, why? When you are a 11 year old and boys played baseball, were ruff, and you are forced to wear panties all the time, you boy undies completly taken away. You have to put on dresses bras, stockings at home. You have to go to dance class, where you are the only boy in the group, wearing tighs, leatodes. You date girls, but are afarid to go to far, because you don't want her to find you are wearing panties( Mom called it birth control).
Now a Gift, to think back on the embarrasement, humiliation, it excites me to no end, so much so I wish I could relive it.....toni
Reply
#4
To answer that,  what day is it?, people ask, where do you live?,   and my answer, is what time of year.   Spring or Fall is in one location,  Winter in an other and Summer different again.
So back, maybe a more accurate question, what time is it in my life? '
Certainly from the time I was six, I learned that I was the only one who had this desire, to wear girls and woman's clothing, and even at that time, had the worst desire, to be submissive.
That was the 40's,  war time.   Men, were brave, fight against the Hun,  women, brave, not knowing what was happening to what had been their children, now being possibly killed ,maimed, or learning new skills in the factories for the war effort.     And me, a pathetic (what is now called a sissy)   afraid to fight, (local school ground fights) and this great unknown, of why was the way I was.      As to the why?   I still do not understand, but at least accept who I am.
It only got worst in my teens, girls were so great, and i dated a good number, again, was it young love, or the desire to be near such wonderful creatures, who wore all of these great choice of clothing.
In my teens, the war had been over, but I still felt "what is wrong with me".   Yes I had learned a few rudiments of standing your ground, I did pick my fights, only after one person, who picked on me regularly, was beating me up one day in the school yard, and I had a total black out.   When I came out of it, I was on top of him, pounding the H out of him.     That was my turning point.    Still hated to fight, but a number of bullies, no longer bothered me, and I was somewhat accepted.
By then, I had little trust, and again, with hormone raging, the desire to dress, specially in sissy things, came even stronger.
Information regarding gender issues was still non existent. 
Stumbled through school, a couple of years high school, same with mining school, then into the work force.      What I did find out, I could make decisions, first fighting bush fires in 1953, and after a couple of weeks, I was sent to a new fire camp.   It was abandoned, the so called camp foreman, and the fire crew had taken flight, as it looked like the major fire would come over the hill any moment.   All the equipment had been left, the local fire was with in 20' of the tents.  
Still inexperienced, I put all the equipment in the lake, not to burn.   Along came some top staff, we got the equipment going again, and with their moral support, I started to fight that fire, with hoses.   They left and many hours later, the crews returned.   What was scary, that they somehow felt I was in charge.
These were men who, a good number of them were as old as my father.      And they were asking me, what to do.   It shook me, a 17 year old with two weeks experience.    I tried to do something, but was way over my head, so me and an other fellow, made a small raft, swam across a lake and got a ride back to headquarters.   Yes I went back fighting fires, but this time the foreman was a fabulous person, who I never saw him sleep.   He had us working 20 hour days, but you knew we had some one you could trust with decisions.
So why am I telling you all this.    One side of me, this strong desire, to be dressed in sissy girls / woman's clothes and the other side of me, I did have some guts.
Why could I not function that way all the time and rid myself of these sissy desires.    
So the old story, of dress and burn, literally.    And to obtain these female items, i was so afraid and ashame of being discovered,  the only way not to be discovered , was to visit garbage dumps, and locate discarded woman's clothing, wash them, secretly, hide them, often out in the bush, in garbage bags, so they would not be found, then after wearing them , this terrible guilt and shame, have a fire and burn them.     
Of course, that solved everything, who was I kidding.
After a number of years working, I had the great fortune to find a truly remarkable woman, and we got married.    My problems were over, no more sissy desires.
Also I was moving up in the organization I was working for.   What more could one ask.    But with in 6 months, I could no longer hold back to my wife, this strong desire to be wearing "woman's clothing"   Of course her question was the same I had been asking for years, WHY.
No answer, and still no information.     We worked things out, and I believe overall, we had a great marriage, two children, both have succeeded in their chosen line of work.     
Finally, the news started to leak out, there were guys, who had sex changes, and places one could go and see drag queens.   
The big revolution, was the internet.      There were people like me,  support groups, like Tri Ees,  local groups, my first was back in the ninety's , which I still belong today, but back then, more of us clung together.   Who could imagine that now, children age youngsters are going to school, in the preference of who they are, not as to how they are born physically.
Before that, I lost my wife to early Alzhimer's.     Extremely fortunate I met another wonderful woman, who first met me as Gigi.    I know she never had any plans to hook up with a sissy, but we have been together for about 18 years.
Back to the question,   GIFT OR A CURSE.   At times I have been in ephoria,  the feeling of this is who I am, who I should be, then , at times,a very bigoted society tramps one down, and to be out and open, not only a threat to one self, but to one's family, and I have never been that selfish to threaten their lives.

Also I truly wonder, what else I could have accomplished, if that feminine desire, had never been, never knew it, not even a glimpse, that I could have placed more effort toward doing a better job, giving more back to some of the communities I have lived in.    
I do not have the answer, I live with who I am, but still do not know why the mind thinks as it does, so much good, and at the same time, so much evil.
Gigi T.
Reply
#5
(03-09-2017, 09:57 AM)Brigitte Wrote: I love knowing that it has been a gift for you to discover femininity, that makes me convinced that I am doing the right thing. I think that very few may think that this is a punishment, it is possible that at first they think about it, but then when they enjoy it they appreciate it.


Brigitte I am glad that my post has helped you realize that your efforts may one day be appreciated. When feminization is introduced in a caring and loving way it makes it much easier for us to accept that it is in our best interest to comply despite any reservations we may have. I admit there were some embarassing times and some of my outings were down right fearful , how could they not be but as I look back at how it unfolded for me I know full well my Wife did the right thing and so are you.

(03-09-2017, 12:16 PM)TonyF Wrote: Curse then, why? When you are a 11 year old and boys played baseball, were ruff, and you are forced to wear panties all the time, you boy undies completly taken away. You have to put on dresses bras, stockings at home. You have to go to dance class, where you are the only boy in the group, wearing tighs, leatodes. You date girls, but are afarid to go to far, because you don't want her to find you are wearing panties( Mom called it birth control).
    Now a Gift, to think back on the embarrasement, humiliation, it excites me to no end, so much so I wish I could relive it.....toni

Thank you Toni, your answer makes perfect sense but I have to ask if you ever thanked your Mother for the pleasures you now enjoy in life?

(03-09-2017, 03:22 PM)Gigi T. Wrote: To answer that,  what day is it?, people ask, where do you live?,   and my answer, is what time of year.   Spring or Fall is in one location,  Winter in an other and Summer different again.
So back, maybe a more accurate question, what time is it in my life? '
Certainly from the time I was six, I learned that I was the only one who had this desire, to wear girls and woman's clothing, and even at that time, had the worst desire, to be submissive.
That was the 40's,  war time.   Men, were brave, fight against the Hun,  women, brave, not knowing what was happening to what had been their children, now being possibly killed ,maimed, or learning new skills in the factories for the war effort.     And me, a pathetic (what is now called a sissy)   afraid to fight, (local school ground fights) and this great unknown, of why was the way I was.      As to the why?   I still do not understand, but at least accept who I am.
It only got worst in my teens, girls were so great, and i dated a good number, again, was it young love, or the desire to be near such wonderful creatures, who wore all of these great choice of clothing.
In my teens, the war had been over, but I still felt "what is wrong with me".   Yes I had learned a few rudiments of standing your ground, I did pick my fights, only after one person, who picked on me regularly, was beating me up one day in the school yard, and I had a total black out.   When I came out of it, I was on top of him, pounding the H out of him.     That was my turning point.    Still hated to fight, but a number of bullies, no longer bothered me, and I was somewhat accepted.
By then, I had little trust, and again, with hormone raging, the desire to dress, specially in sissy things, came even stronger.
Information regarding gender issues was still non existent. 
Stumbled through school, a couple of years high school, same with mining school, then into the work force.      What I did find out, I could make decisions, first fighting bush fires in 1953, and after a couple of weeks, I was sent to a new fire camp.   It was abandoned, the so called camp foreman, and the fire crew had taken flight, as it looked like the major fire would come over the hill any moment.   All the equipment had been left, the local fire was with in 20' of the tents.  
Still inexperienced, I put all the equipment in the lake, not to burn.   Along came some top staff, we got the equipment going again, and with their moral support, I started to fight that fire, with hoses.   They left and many hours later, the crews returned.   What was scary, that they somehow felt I was  in charge.
These were men who, a good number of them were as old as my father.      And they were asking me, what to do.   It shook me, a 17 year old with two weeks experience.    I tried to do something, but was way over my head, so me and an other fellow, made a small raft, swam across a lake and got a ride back to headquarters.   Yes I went back fighting fires, but this time the foreman was a fabulous person, who I never saw him sleep.   He had us working 20 hour days, but you knew we had some one you could trust with decisions.
So why am I telling you all this.    One side of me, this strong desire, to be dressed in sissy girls / woman's clothes and the other side of me, I did have some guts.
Why could I not function that way all the time and rid myself of these sissy desires.    
So the old story, of dress and burn, literally.    And to obtain these female items, i was so afraid and ashame of being discovered,  the only way not to be discovered , was to visit garbage dumps, and locate discarded woman's clothing, wash them, secretly, hide them, often out in the bush, in garbage bags, so they would not be found, then after wearing them , this terrible guilt and shame, have a fire and burn them.     
Of course, that solved everything, who was I kidding.
After a number of years working, I had the great fortune to find a truly remarkable woman, and we got married.    My problems were over, no more sissy desires.
Also I was moving up in the organization I was working for.   What more could one ask.    But with in 6 months, I could no longer hold back to my wife, this strong desire to be wearing "woman's clothing"   Of course her question was the same I had been asking for years, WHY.
No answer, and still no information.     We worked things out, and I believe overall, we had a great marriage, two children, both have succeeded in their chosen line of work.     
Finally, the news started to leak out, there were guys, who had sex changes, and places one could go and see drag queens.   
The big revolution, was the internet.      There were people like me,  support groups, like Tri Ees,  local groups, my first was back in the ninety's , which I still belong today, but back then, more of us clung together.   Who could imagine that now, children age youngsters are going to school, in the preference of who they are, not as to how they are born physically.
Before that, I lost my wife to early Alzhimer's.     Extremely fortunate I met another wonderful woman, who first met me as Gigi.    I know she never had any plans to hook up with a sissy, but we have been together for about 18 years.
Back to the question,   GIFT OR A CURSE.   At times I have been in ephoria,  the feeling of this is who I am, who I should be, then , at times,a very bigoted society tramps one down, and to be out and open, not only a threat to one self, but to one's family, and I have never been that selfish to threaten their lives.

Also I truly wonder, what else I could have accomplished, if that feminine desire, had never been, never knew it, not even a glimpse, that I could have placed more effort toward doing a better job, giving more back to some of the communities I have lived in.    
I do not have the answer, I live with who I am, but still do not know why the mind thinks as it does, so much good, and at the same time, so much evil.
Gigi T.

It is easy to understand that way back when you first became enthralled with feminine things the world was a very different place. I have read that men routinely engaged in very masculine professions in hopes of curing themselves or at the very least hiding their sissyness. Take heart in knowing you have a wife who accepts you for who you are and not what you wear.
Reply
#6
I once read a presumably Irish expression which said life is like licking a drop of honey from a thorn. The Gift/Curse question, like "nature vs. nurture" or "yin/yang" are simply two sides of the coin of life. Ecstasy/Agony of our desires. A recent NYT book review fora book on architect Louis Kahn quoted him as saying something along the lines of: "need is so many bananas. Need is a ham sandwich; But desire is insatiable and you can never know what it is." We need to express ourselves and our desire to become who we are is insatiable.
Reply
#7
My time being feminized was fleeting. My time dreaming girl and about feminization has been virtually every day of my life since I was five.

I am sure I would have been terribly embarrassed if I had been feminized growing up, and I am just as confident I would have loved it.

Gift or curse? Simply referring to my inner girl (feminized or not), if offered the blue pill to make it all disappear forever, I would run so fast for the hills no one would even see my petticoats flaring out!
Reply
#8
It's been both a gift and a curse for me.

When I was growing up being made to wear panties and dresses etc was intensely humiliating. And it wasn't just having to sometimes dress as a girl. It was being dressed in girls' clothes that were too young for me, younger than even the styles my sister wore, and she's two years younger than me.

Going through puberty in knickers and tights, and mini skirts rubbing my bottom had quite an effect on me. And at bedtime, in a nightie and knickers, or sometimes even a nappy, made associations in my teenage boy's mind that I've never overcome.

I've often wondered what would have happened if I'd never been punished like that. But now I love dressing as a girl. I even enjoy nappies. And humiliation is a great turn on for me.

So initially a curse, but now very much a blessing.
Reply
#9
Petticoating can be the greatest gift a mother can give to her son. This has to be done by loving and supportive mother who knows when to treat the princess with kid gloves and when to be strict and use punishment and when necessary humiliation to keep the brat in line.
Reply
#10
(03-16-2017, 08:43 PM)Ali Wrote: It's been both a gift and a curse for me.

When I was growing up being made to wear panties and dresses etc was intensely humiliating. And it wasn't just having to sometimes dress as a girl. It was being dressed in girls' clothes that were too young for me, younger than even the styles my sister wore, and she's two years younger than me.

Going through puberty in knickers and tights, and mini skirts rubbing my bottom had quite an effect on me. And at bedtime, in a nightie and knickers, or sometimes even a nappy, made associations in my teenage boy's mind that I've never overcome.

I've often wondered what would have happened if I'd never been punished like that. But now I love dressing as a girl. I even enjoy nappies. And humiliation is a great turn on for me.

So initially a curse, but now very much a blessing.
I’m in a similar place to you on this. Growing up, skirts, dresses, nappies, makeup and lingerie all factored into my punishments at various times but with having a group of friends that I was keen to get on with and it being drilled into me (mainly by those same friends) that I needed to fit in, I was always reluctant to consider what I really thought about the items I was forced into wearing.

Once this ‚Äėdouble life‚Äô as it be viewed as was taken away from me (in being forced to undergo full time petticoating during the day and nappy punishment at night aged 18), I found a feminine side inside myself that I never knew I had.¬†

Because I was having to wear skirts, heels and makeup full time anyway, I had to develop my female persona in order to remain credible but I found that I actually came to care about the quality of my makeup application and the subtleties of my skirt length (and what others might make of me as a result). Although my nappy experiences didn’t follow me to quite the same extent, even this became a great benefit, allowing me to use a nappy in situations where others wouldn’t even countenance wearing one.

Fast forward several years and working as an air stewardess my life is still dominated by skirts, heels and makeup (and even nappies still have their uses).

So whilst it was a rough start and very much a curse in the early days, it has been very much a blessing in the longer term (and at the end of the day, so many restrictions of childhood are geared towards achieving precisely such long term benefits).
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
BON4plus

About Petticoat Discipline Quarterly

Focus MyBB Theme is designed for MyBB 1.8 series and is tested properly till the most current version of MyBB i.e. 1.8.7. It is simple, clean and light MyBB theme with use of font-awesome icons and shrinking header.

For any more information, please use our contact form.

              User Links