Petticoat Discipline Quarterly Forum

Full Version: Reminiscing
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I’ve been reminiscing about my upbringing. 

I’ve said before that I was five before I was fully toilet trained. It was so embarrassing still needing nappies at that age. 

It was mostly just at night, but occasionally I’d have them on during the day as well. I even had to wear a nappy to school a couple of times. 

Lucy, my sister, was out of nappies by the time she was two, and she’s two years younger than me, so that was a whole year when I, supposedly the big brother, still needed nappies when Lucy didn’t. 

I remember being changed for bed, sometimes with Lucy in the same room, and being so embarrassed. 

I wonder if that was the start of my submissiveness, and seeing females as inherently superior. It was such a natural thing for my mother to lay me on her bed naked, and put a nappy on me, while Lucy was there, that I just kind of got used to it, albeit utterly humiliating. 

I was only out of nappies for a year before my mother started punishing me by making me wear a pair of Lucy’s knickers for a spanking, and from there it wasn’t long before I was made to wear a dress or skirt as well, and then put back into nappies again as a punishment, so that humiliation and submissiveness was almost constant from as far back as I can remember. 

I’m sure that sowed the seeds of submissiveness in me, and ingrained in me that females are superior. 
Some interesting points there, Ali. I guess you probably don’t really recall a period of your childhood that didn’t include nappies, then (I can say much the same about myself). 

It must have been quite mortifying having a younger sister that didn’t have to wear them. I was at least lucky in that respect in that both my sister and I were subject to similar punishments and whilst I was sometimes punished in the absence of my sister receiving the same, I at least knew she understood and if she was to make any sort of fuss, would likely have received a dose herself.
I've been through the same thoughts and musings myself. While my sister was older than I, my mother constantly told me how she was out of diapers at a younger age than I was. Getting a diaper changed with my sister around was normal, and mom had no issues with it being public knowledge that I had such troubles. Humiliation was considered a valid parenting technique at the time.

Of course, being put in my sister's old dresses when being taken out to facilitate diaper changes kept that humiliation going, and getting comments about how I could graduate to "big girl panties" didn't help. You wanted to keep your head down, because you'd be laughed at and embarrassed if people found out you were really a boy under there. The idea was that the embarrassment and humiliation would fuel your desire to control the issue.

Of course that probably only helped fuel the desire to be submissive, to crave the humiliating aspects of such things because it was a learned behavior...
The more I read other people’s posts on this subject, the more appreciate the ways in which I was fortunate (comparatively speaking). Until 18 my petticoating had never been made a public issue by my mother and she relied more on the fear that someone I knew might find out (which still felt quite prevalent at that age even on my own territory) rather than taking any deliberate steps to inform others. 

Once I reached 18 and I (in theory) had my autonomy, she employed house rules and I spent several months dressed as a secretary thereafter. Even then though, without her having made that decision, I would not be the person I am today.
Don’t get me wrong - I’m not unhappy with who I am today. Not at all.

But I do sometimes wonder if I’d had a different upbringing how differently I may have turned out. Perhaps my desire to be dominated and even humiliated might have come through anyway. Who knows?

It’s not always easy being a sissy, and going out dressed as a female has always had its challenges, even though I love it. As I’m getting older I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to settle down and have a family and all that.
(09-02-2021, 08:31 PM)Ali Wrote: [ -> ]Don’t get me wrong - I’m not unhappy with who I am today. Not at all.

But I do sometimes wonder if I’d had a different upbringing how differently I may have turned out. Perhaps my desire to be dominated and even humiliated might have come through anyway. Who knows?

It’s not always easy being a sissy, and going out dressed as a female has always had its challenges, even though I love it. As I’m getting older I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to settle down and have a family and all that.

Ali, I can understand that sentiment entirely. I hope that others consider me a "good person" and I think that I've done well from my overall life perspective (walk away from a high-tech job and retire at 50? Sounds good to me!).

I look at how I treat people, women especially. Rather than dismiss their perspective, I try to empathize and think about how it might feel for me to be in their place. I think that I might not have that attitude without my days spent dressing as a girl during what was usually a tough period in women's lives (the teenage years). Both men and women have their issues, and it's not worthwhile to dismiss either side. i think it's allowed me to do well in many different aspects of life.

I wonder if I would have been so inclined to dress as a girl in my teenage years if it weren't for my earlier years, and from there would my attitude be different? Maybe my desires were always there, somewhat sated in my youngest days and then finished in my teen years and without the earlier times I would have gone fully feminine during my teen years. I did end up getting married and having a family, and my wife knows about my background (though we have not told our kids about it).