Petticoat Discipline Quarterly Forum

Full Version: A rude awakening
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Hey guys, I wanted to share a realization I had this morning. You see, like a lot of sissies, I've struggled with identity issues. Some of us sissies try to change our ways and go on what I like to call, "A 'macho streak' where we try to forget about our girly desires and be as masculine as possible, I know it's ridiculous. Recently I've been on the longest and most powerful one yet. I've been feeling like an absolute alpha male. I've even come to enjoy a natural feeling of thinking and acting masculine. With my mere presence, other males are either intimidated by me or look up to me, especially co-workers. I've been working out hard at the gym, making gains and even catching the eye of women in public a lot more than I used to, feeling like an absolute god. This had been going on for a few months now though try as I might, I could never fully escape this nagging desire. Fantasies of being a totally helpless and ultra feminine sissy serving women in their rightful place at the top. This morning, after a solid sleep, relaxed and very hard, the thought crossed my mind to get out my satin sissy panties. I thought, just for a little bit, wouldn't it feel nice to feel this satin on your cock? And wouldn't it be nice to feel your head all snug in your bonnet?

So I pulled out my panties with caution and pulled them up on me. Then as soon as I caught a glimpse in the mirror, something clicked. There was the old arousal and excitement but something new, a feeling of shame... sharp shame followed by humiliation. I instinctively threw myself on the bed curled up in the fetal position before peeking at myself again and yep, another wave of humiliation. I subconsciously felt myself saying "Stop, stop no more!" as though I was begging for mercy.  It was surreal! Despite this, the masochist voice inside me told me to keep going as though to say "you're helpless, you must obey!" Each new item of clothing I put on from my petticoat to my sissy dress and bonnet was a new wave of fresh, gut wrenching humiliation. I felt scared by a feeling of weakness until I was actually sobbing and in tears begging for mercy. I was actually throwing my fists and legs like a toddler in a tantrum, how pathetic. Soon the arousal caught up and mixed in with all the emotion to make a very bizarre feeling. After a few minutes I was exhausted, I really didn't want it all to stop but I made myself undress and calm down. 

This was an hour ago and I still feel very sensitive and vulnerable. And this was just me on my own, doing this to myself in what I can best describe as my masculinity being under attack, my identity being reformed. I can only imagine the horror I'd feel having this done to me by powerful, determined women and girls, cruelly laughing at me every step of the way. I Imagine what I felt is what most guys would feel being introduced to pettiocating for the first time. I always knew that humiliation was part and parcel of petticoat discipline but to actually FEEL it, my goodness, what a shock this all was, it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I believe before I went down my longest and strongest 'macho streak', wearing sissy things felt more align to my self-perceived status at the time and I may have also being de-sensitized to it, hence why there was minimal shame. How crazy is it that, months of pure maleness undone in minutes of pretty sissy wear. What a powerful and frightening weapon you women can wield against us males. I now understand a little better the effect that petticoating has.
Thank you for sharing, Sassylax. Having been subject to petticoating myself in the past, I can confirm that it is indeed a very effective method of discipline. I do however believe that it has had an immensely positive effect on my life. 

I was a bit like you at that age in that due to the friends I had at the time, I felt the pull of masculinity and always tried to adopt masculine behaviour in front of my friends (which was often in itself the cause of my undergoing petticoating punishment later). Whilst I do not condone this behaviour I can well understand why you feel this pull to act in this way from society; it is at least positive that you are and have ventured into your feminine side as I think undoubtedly the better traits are to be found there. 

What changed my perception was on being forced to wear female clothes full time from age 18. I found that I had to fully embrace my femininity and present myself differently to the world. I came to realise that I much preferred my femininity and have been living in this manner ever since, having taken steps to enhance my femininity along the way. 

I wish you the best in your journey and hope to read more from you.
Maybe your identity doesn't have to be either/or?

For myself (not a full on sissy) it's a case of both sides balancing each other out. I am very dominant in some situations, but you can't live without balance.. and I also believe you can't live in an absolute identity. Finding that balance has made me much more harmonious as a person. Stronger when I'm strong but also softer and more caring when that's called for.
sassylax, Very well written description of where you see yourself. Personally, every time i "purged" i knew deep down that it was not the answer, that i was denying who i was, bowing to societal dictates and what i had been taught or socialized "to be."
(02-18-2021, 06:29 AM)Girlygirl Wrote: [ -> ]Thank you for sharing, Sassylax. Having been subject to petticoating myself in the past, I can confirm that it is indeed a very effective method of discipline. I do however believe that it has had an immensely positive effect on my life. 

I was a bit like you at that age in that due to the friends I had at the time, I felt the pull of masculinity and always tried to adopt masculine behaviour in front of my friends (which was often in itself the cause of my undergoing petticoating punishment later). Whilst I do not condone this behaviour I can well understand why you feel this pull to act in this way from society; it is at least positive that you are and have ventured into your feminine side as I think undoubtedly the better traits are to be found there. 

What changed my perception was on being forced to wear female clothes full time from age 18. I found that I had to fully embrace my femininity and present myself differently to the world. I came to realise that I much preferred my femininity and have been living in this manner ever since, having taken steps to enhance my femininity along the way. 

I wish you the best in your journey and hope to read more from you.

Thanks Girlygirl, I'm glad you are really living true to yourself and experiencing the wonderful world of femininity. May I ask, is this a journey you are going on alone now or do you still have someone in your life to enforce this lifestyle? 

In my case, I feel responsible for myself which unfortunately leaves me no choice but to prioritise my masculinity I wish I had the same opportunity as you being forcibly petticoated at one point to at least cement my identity. Someone to take away the decision for me and end this ever swinging pendulum between my two persona's... would be nice.

(02-18-2021, 09:57 AM)lucje Wrote: [ -> ]Maybe your identity doesn't have to be either/or?

For myself (not a full on sissy) it's a case of both sides balancing each other out. I am very dominant in some situations, but you can't live without balance.. and I also believe you can't live in  an absolute identity. Finding that balance has made me much more harmonious as a person. Stronger when I'm strong but also softer and more caring when that's called for.

You know, for the longest time, I did have a pretty good balance. Then I swung the pendulum too far in favour of masculinity which is why diving into femininity again on a whim after such a long period of absence was such a shock. I think I either need to double down on the sissy play or tone down the masculinity. One thing rarely talked about though is how addictive the latter can surprisingly be. Being a top dog alpha male, especially for the first time in your life is an insane rush, a quite indescribable high that feels just as good as surrendering to and indulging in my sissy things.

(02-18-2021, 06:59 PM)GinaV Wrote: [ -> ]sassylax, Very well written description of where you see yourself. Personally, every time i "purged" i knew deep down that it was not the answer, that i was denying who i was, bowing to societal dictates and what i had been taught or socialized "to be."

Thank you GinaV, glad you enjoyed the read. Yes purges are horrible. I've actually recently cut up with scissors a very lovely and expensive petticoat in preparation for the bin. What a deeply regretful shame.  Sad

However I must note to you and the other responders here that I feel the point of the post has been missed. Detailing my struggle between maleness and sissyhood was merely a preface for my recent experience which was truly realizing and appreciating the impact being feminized/ forcibly feminized can have on a male such as myself, let alone a male with zero sissy desires. i simply wanted to testify how powerfully potent of a technique petticoat discipline is even though I've only experienced a self imposed one.
Sissylax, I think you've explained the mixed feelings that many of us have. I have always wanted that strict dominant mommy figure to make me do what I really wanted but was afraid to do on my own.

Outwardly I'm a pretty alpha male, but inside I want no choice about being turned into the naughty eight year old bratty little girl I really am. Like you I relish that feeling of helplessness as mommy makes me put on my panties and when I do it on my own I sometimes feel guilty. Sometimes I get lucky and can almost see a mommy standing there, hairbrush in hand. Those moments are golden.
(02-19-2021, 01:04 AM)sassylax Wrote: [ -> ]
(02-18-2021, 06:29 AM)Girlygirl Wrote: [ -> ]Thank you for sharing, Sassylax. Having been subject to petticoating myself in the past, I can confirm that it is indeed a very effective method of discipline. I do however believe that it has had an immensely positive effect on my life. 

I was a bit like you at that age in that due to the friends I had at the time, I felt the pull of masculinity and always tried to adopt masculine behaviour in front of my friends (which was often in itself the cause of my undergoing petticoating punishment later). Whilst I do not condone this behaviour I can well understand why you feel this pull to act in this way from society; it is at least positive that you are and have ventured into your feminine side as I think undoubtedly the better traits are to be found there. 

What changed my perception was on being forced to wear female clothes full time from age 18. I found that I had to fully embrace my femininity and present myself differently to the world. I came to realise that I much preferred my femininity and have been living in this manner ever since, having taken steps to enhance my femininity along the way. 

I wish you the best in your journey and hope to read more from you.

Thanks Girlygirl, I'm glad you are really living true to yourself and experiencing the wonderful world of femininity. May I ask, is this a journey you are going on alone now or do you still have someone in your life to enforce this lifestyle? 

In my case, I feel responsible for myself which unfortunately leaves me no choice but to prioritise my masculinity I wish I had the same opportunity as you being forcibly petticoated at one point to at least cement my identity. Someone to take away the decision for me and end this ever swinging pendulum between my two persona's... would be nice.
I am very much living my own life these days working as an air stewardess (which is a great job to reinforce one’s femininity). I did go through a second period of petticoating during the first lockdown last year when I moved back in with her as did my tomboy sister (for whom it was worse as I am used to wearing many aspects of the petticoating regime). 

Other than that we both have to make sure we are dressed up whenever we visit mother but as it is a default position for me anyway this is no great hardship. 

There is a lot of fun to be found in femininity and I hope you will find yourself able to explore your own further.
You work as an air stewardess?

What is your uniform?
Pretty much what you would expect of a stewardess uniform, really. Mid length red skirt, blouse, red blazer, appropriate makeup and a mid heel (and of course the bun hairstyle that we are so often associated with).

With an addition of a nappy for long haul flights (as it’s preferable to using the aircraft toilets).  Big Grin
Hiya sissylax, that’s a lovely description of the humiliation of being a sissy.

For me I had no choice about going through it, as I was punished as a child by being made to wear firstly my little sister’s clothes, and later my own girls’ and even baby clothes. The utter shame of having to step into a pair of knickers held out by my mother, and having a dress slipped over my head and zipped up has never left me.

Nowadays I enjoy wearing female clothes, but it’s the humiliation I still remember and, yes, crave.
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