Petticoat Discipline Quarterly Forum

Full Version: On the Limit
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For those that play and indulge their fetish with a partner, how do you ensure your tolerance is not pushed past your comfort zone?  Do you discuss things before hand and stick to that or maybe press on just a little further?  Do you have a safe word (how does that work with a gag)?  Are there postmortems where you can say that wasn't quite enough or it was too much?  How do you control things safely?
I am fortunate in that Mistress interprets my reactions very well as to when pain moves beyond the threshold of pleasure. But if not I just advise her politely that my limit has been exceeded. I can't recall it happening when gagged, although as Mistress likes to be thanked politely after every stroke, I am rarely gagged for punishment.
A sobering reminder that some fetishes do need to be played slowly and carefully, Yvette-Louise as some (such as gagging) can lead to unsavoury outcomes if not carried out in a safe manner.
Great post YL and some really good advice. In addition to what has been said it may be worth considering an alternative to a safe word. It sounds quite obvious but it does work. Simply by holding something in your hand and letting it go/drop when you reach your limit- ideal when using gags.

It should also be stressed again that gagging is not really a newbies game although there are many types of gags that make an introduction more pleasant. A hollow ball gag with cut outs is good as it allows easy breathing, as does a ring gag. Both however induce drooling so provide a waterproof bib! More severe gags will have breathing/feeding tubes to allow a good flow of air and some extreme gags incorporate nasal breathing tubes too.

Anyone care to suggest their safe words?
No safe word necessary. But we use the traffic light system if playing and need some feedback on pain levels.
But surely everyone goes directly past green, right?