from Jill

Dear Helga,

As you can see the title of my email after 5 years of marriage my husband decided he wanted to be my wife. At first I thought he was kidding me however he wasn't. Tom and I met in college then quickly fell in love as we still are today. Tom was never the manly man but something about him just felt right to me. Up until he told me of the wife thing we had a very normal marriage. For weeks after he told me about wanting to be my wife we didn't talk and I had him sleep in another room. It wasn't punish him but rather give me time to figure out what to do. Good thing we have this thing called the internet. Your website was one I discovered thankfully. It taught me that Tom wasn't alone with the feminine desires.

We began talking again in great detail as you can imagine. The questions I asked were; did Tom want to actually be a woman? Did Tom just want to dress like a woman. Would Tom go through the transition and finally would I still want to be with him in any of the scenarios. Tom tried his best to let me know exactly what he felt that drove him to tell me. Yes he wanted to be a woman although how could any man really know what that would be like? I decided Tom was my husband so it was my duty to help him as much as possible. Within a few weeks Tom had a closet full of dresses, skirts and blouses in the spare room. I helped Tom dress every morning in the dress of his choice. Tom spent the day in his new clothes but at night he was back to wearing his jeans. We talked about his commitment to being a woman and why he felt the desire to switch from men's to women's clothes. As for myself I had gotten used to Tom wearing dresses and even high heels which you would think wasn't possible.

One afternoon Tom and I talked about next steps as he wanted to be my wife although so far he was a crossdressing husband. I pushed Tom to see how far he really wanted to go. At one point early on we had talked about changing Tom's look to be more feminine. I let him know makeup and a wig would be a good start then to let his hair and nails grow. At the time he was all in for anything feminine however Tom was not keeping his end of the deal. In reading some of the letters on your website and other areas of the internet I decided tom needed a chastity device to help him focus more. Out I went to buy one so the next morning after his shower on it went. Tom was completely caught off guard as it was who I used to be. Looking into his eyes I let Tom know he wanted to be my wife so there was no use for an erection any longer. Before Tom said a word I also let him know he was going to be that wife he so wanted to be with no turning back. Overnight we both changed with me becoming more dominant and Tom more submissive.

Within a few weeks Tom had his first perm and pedicure by a good friend of mine here at the house. Tom looked very pretty when Donna was finished with him. Remember when I talked about Tom's commitment? Well having his hair done pushed that limit to the point he begged me to stop. Apparently Tom didn't want to be that much of a wife that he really looked like one now. I ignored Tom for a few days on that topic while thinking about it. Did I want to let Tom off the hook? Had I made my point and had he learned a lesson? All good questions.

A few days later Tom and I talked about how he liked his new life as my wife. He admitted it was much more than what he fantasized. Tom sat there in a pretty white blouse and a long skirt. His hair all curly from the perm and off course makeup done perfectly. I asked Tom how he felt sitting in front of me looking so pretty. Did it bother him that he used to be my husband and now my wife. I wanted Tom to know what he did to me by dropping that wife dream on my lap after 5 years of marriage. It hurt me in the beginning and Tom needed to now how I felt. Tom was sorry that he didn't let me know sooner in our marriage about his fantasy. He was also sorry to have put me through all of it and the money spent on the clothes. I let Tom know it was all ok as my decision was always to help him become my wife which he wanted me to do. Then I let Tom know it was also my decision that he remain that way for the foreseeable future. Tom began to tear up which was to be expected. Poor Tom had bitten off more than he could chew and I ended up preferring him this way. Did I ever think I would have a feminine husband? Never wanted one either.

Tom didn't take it well with some night time crying spells however I stood firm with my decision. I bought Tom a few nightgowns to sleep in and had him help me pack up all his old clothes which were put in storage. Tom was going to live as my wife 100% of the time and no switching back and forth. I bought Tom a couple of maid uniforms to wear in the daytime so he can keep his dresses for off duty times and outings. Tom has taken over all of the domestic duties with some needing work.

Helga I am so pleased to have found your website and listening to others. In your opinion how have I done so far? Would you do things differently? How about next steps?


Thank you for your letter Jill. I feel you have done a wonderful job with Tom, no doubt his desire to become your wife came as a surprise, as it would to any partner, your willingness to consider this shows your open mind and the obvious love you both share. I don't see anything I would have done differently, your realization of your inner dominant was to be expected and the process you defined worked beautifully. As for what's next, well since she is well on the path now to feminization, some more sissy type dresses should be considered, please do keep us informed.


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