from Ruth

Dear Helga,

I have rather an unusual situation and was wondering if you could help me.

My husband left me around eighteen months ago for another woman, and I haven't heard or seen of him since. This left me with two children to bring up and a house to run. I am only able to work school hours, so that restricts the time I can work, and the amount of money I can earn, causing me to have to run a very tight budget. My two children have been marvelous, I have a girl Lucy, who is nine years old, and a son John, who is eight years old. They both understand how difficult things are.

The situation I am in has developed because of insufficient funds. I have to admit that I have been handing down Lucy's clothes to John. It all started around a year ago when I had to replace John's school shirt. I just could not afford to buy him a replacement, so I put one of Lucy's school blouses on him, that she had grown out of. Of course he didn't want wear a blouse, but wanted to help me, so accepted it. From then on it has snowballed and most of what he wears now, was what Lucy's has grown out of. Up to now, I have only had him wear blouses, trousers, jeans, tops and pajamas etc that used to belong to Lucy. He does wear his own underpants of course.

I have now now reached a situation that is difficult. There are no longer any shorts of Lucy's left that she has grown out of, and I cannot afford to buy John any at the moment. This is making life problematic, as all I have now to work with is skirts and dresses Lucy has grown out of. I am finding it difficult to make a decision to use at least the skirts for John.

Your website does highlight the need to make bad boys into good girls, and I can appreciate that this can work. From my perspective, I have a well behaved son and am worried about how wearing a skirt or dress would effect him emotionally or mentally, now, or in the future.

I would be so grateful to receive your valued comments.


How nice to hear from you and thank you for writing Ruth. I am so sorry to hear about your current financial situation and understand how difficult it must be to have to make these choices for your family. I would be happy to offer my comments and opinion to help in any way I can.

For many boys its not so much about the clothes themselves but the exposure to others while dressed. If at home only then there should be no real concerns past the initial introduction, public display could be problematic for him unless he looks like a real girl, something you might have to consider. Please do let us know how you're getting on.


Return to Index
Letter 6