A brief introduction is in order; Mistress Alison is a good friend and a very knowledgeable and experienced Mistress, she has also been a frequent contributor to PDQ. She is now available to answer questions from both Mistress and sissies alike, assuming a respectful tone of course. These email conversations may well be included at some future date in PDQ though a request for privacy would be respected. Feel free to write her at and please don't waste her valuable time asking "where / how can I find a Mistress?"

Mistress Debbie has instructed me to write to you expressing my thanks for the invaluable advice you have given her on how to turn me into a sissified male and to tell you that it has irrevocably and immeasurably changed our lives for the better. While it is true that it has transformed our sex lives in ways I never imagined possible I cannot say that for me it has been an unalloyed pleasure, but Mistress says there is no going back now and the only way is forward.

When she first told me that our lives had become staid, predictable and boring and what she intended to do about it I was first upset she'd never mentioned it before, then I was surprised by what she had planned for me. I'd never heard of female led relationships or petticoat discipline and was amazed that such things actually existed outside big cities, then I became wary about what it might involve, then rather nervous but also I must confess to having felt a little excited.

The first step was easy enough, to shave off all my body hair and wear her used underwear instead of my normal underpants, but things rapidly escalated and I was soon well out of my comfort zone. She bought me what she called my own knickers and shortly after that locked my personal parts in a fiendish device to ensure chastity. It doesn't really hurt unless I get aroused but it is slightly uncomfortable and means I usually have to sit down to pee. Mistress Debbie says this is an added bonus as it will make me act in a more feminine way.

A cane, a riding crop and a leather paddle rapidly followed and to my consternation Mistress Debbie said it would be good for both of us if she tried them out immediately so she could get the feel of them and I would know what to expect if I got any silly ideas about resisting her. She only gave me three strokes with each and if I thought they weren't going to hurt I was very soon disillusioned. They all hurt, a lot. The paddle was tolerable but the sting from the crop was far, far worse and I could barely hold back the tears after being caned. If it wasn't for the fact that Mistress Debbie had threatened that if I moved from the position of being bent over with my hands on my knees she would increase the number of strokes that kept me from jumping about with hands on my bottom.

Since then she has followed your suggestion and bought a very thin whippy little cane, and if I thought a lighter cane would be any less painful I was sorely mistaken, the operative word being sorely. It really does bite like a serpent, and sting like an adder. Mistress Debbie has once again followed your suggestion and regularly gives me a few strokes across both hands just before I leave for work in the morning. Not because I've done anything wrong but in case I get any ideas about misbehaving or being a naughty sissy while at I'm at work. She calls it "Mistress's kiss." Now when she says she wants to kiss me I don't whether I'm going to get a passionate embrace from a loving woman or the cane.

It is one of the better aspects of my new situation that she has become much more passionate and in many respects more loving. In quiet moments she will often tell me how proud of me she is for doing this for her and how pleased she is with her decision. And our sex life has changed out of all recognition, though possibly not in the way I could ever have imagined. Whenever she is feeling frisky, and it is no longer just Friday or Saturday nights, she will secure my hands behind my back (at first she used washing line but now has two soft leather cuffs which clip together) and demands I give her three orgasms using only my tongue. If I succeed within a certain time, which doesn't tell me in advance, then she releases my male bits and we have conventional sex, though I might have to wait a day or two for this to happen. If I fail she might allow me relief using her hand or she might order me to do it for myself or she might punish me with the cane or the crop. I never know which until it actually happens which keeps me on tenterhooks but the uncertainty definitely adds piquancy to the physical side of our relationship.

Friday nights have become my slave night. On arriving home from work I have to take a shower and present myself to Mistress Debbie naked. She will be holding either one of her canes or her crop. She puts a leather dog's collar round my neck and attaches a lead before leading me around the house and telling what things she wishes me to that evening. Sometimes she attaches two cuffs similar to the ones I previously mentioned around my ankles and joins them with a short chain to restrict my steps, and sometimes she makes me crawl. Mistress Debbie then watches television while I get on with the jobs she has set me. When I return she is invariably naked with a very lascivious look on her face and the evening always ends with her ordering me to do something very personal for her. Despite the fact that it can be quite difficult to finish all jobs in time, especially if my ankles are joined, both of us look forward to what Mistress Debbie calls our Friday night fun.

Most recently Mistress Debbie has bought me a corset with attached suspenders and several pairs of stockings. I used to find stockings and suspenders very, very alluring, but now I'm being forced, well required might be a more accurate term, to wear them myself I have a very different view. Mistress says it is good as I now realise what real women have had to endure for decades. The corset has been particularly uncomfortable during the recent hot weather and when I take it off I have red marks from where what I now know is called the boning has dug into my skin. Mistress Debbie finds it amusing to tease me by running her fingernails over the depressions. It doesn't hurt and can actually be quite erotic but it is a reminder of the degree of control she now has over me.

Mistress Debbie also has a split leather strap known as a Lochgelly taws that used to be used in Scottish schools and whenever we go out together she puts in her handbag together with an adult sized dummy. She tells me that she is quite prepared to use it and then silenced my crying with the dummy if my behaviour warrants it and I believe her. She has changed out of all recognition in a very short space of time. This change is something I'm still struggling to accept, though I am trying as this is something she very much wants to do and it is obviously making her happy. As I outlined above it is definitely not an entirely negative experience but I do worry about where it all end and how things will turn out in the long run.

I did try to discuss this with Mistress Debbie but she told me to write to you and ask for your advice about what I can do to become more accepting and more submissively obedient to her. I would greatly appreciate your advice but am hoping for something more than "just do everything she tells you and it will be fine."

Yours sincerely
Sissy Gigi
(formerly Martin)

Dear Gigi

Thank you for your delightful letter. It is always good to get feedback and it is even more gratifying when it is so positive as yours. I am pleased for both of you that your Mistress has used some of my suggestions to such good effect.

I'm not sure which part of your letter I enjoyed most but I think, "she will often tell me how proud of me she is for doing this for her and how pleased she is with her decision" and "both of us look forward to what Mistress Debbie calls our Friday night fun" are vying for first place. Your letter underlines something I have always maintained; that FLRs are a perfectly valid lifestyle choice and being or having a sissified male is not some weird and wonderful perversion practised by strange people in dark cellars, but a simple acknowledgement of the innate superiority of women.

Naturally many aspects of your new life are still feeling strange, every change brings at least some anxieties and if the new is markedly different from the old then it can be challenging. Think how you would feel if your wife had told you that she wanted you to take up skydiving? I imagine you'd be very nervous and the equipment would feel strange, bulky and uncomfortable so you're actually getting off fairly lightly. Your new state of enforced chastity doesn't seem to bother you as much as it does most first timers, you admit that it is only truly uncomfortable if you become aroused so there's answer, control yourself: it is after all a control device and sitting down to pee is a very minor inconvenience to please your Mistress. In six months time you'll be almost unaware of its presence and peeing sitting down will seem the most natural thing in the world.

Of course the punishment instruments hurt, that's what they're designed to do. Though I would say that thus far your wife has only tried them out or played with them since you did not end up in tears. Tears are the infallible sign of a properly administered punishment, and don't be tempted to try to fake them, it's always blindly obvious and results in a loss of trust and more punishment. Again the remedy is in your hands, if you wish to avoid painful punishments then be a good sissy for your Mistress. I love the term "Mistress's kiss." I wish I'd thought of it.

The corset and stockings are just a natural progression and once again although they feel strangely new and uncomfortable now you will soon get used to them. By your own admission you find her gentle teasing about making you wear the corset erotic, which supports my assessment that you already had a submissive streak. Perhaps Mistress Debbie noticed it in the past and has now decided to exploit it. That might explain her acquisition of the tawse, which is a serious punishment instrument and the fact she has bought you a dummy and keeps them together leads me to believe that it's not just for show. So if you don't want to end up in tears with a dummy in your mouth then you know what you must, and more importantly what you must not, do.

I can't really answer your questions because they are unanswerable. As Benjamin Franklin sagely observed the only certainties in life are death and taxes. Of course she's changed, she gone from being a wife to being your Mistress, the woman you must obey and serve; but so have you, you've gone from being a husband to being a submissive sissy, a role you are not entirely unhappy with. Your new Mistress is still finding her feet in much the same way as you are. She is probably quite nervous about how to use her newly acquired power. Where it will end up and how things will turn out is largely up to yourselves. She will try things out some will work for her and not for you, some will be the other way round and some will work for both of you. If she is a wise Mistress she will concentrate on the things that work for you both, like the slave nights, while holding in reserve the things you dislike most for when you step out of line or she feels the need to exert her authority.

I have passed your final question to my sissymaid, kitty, who is in a better position to answer it than I. Her reply is below.

Well done at having made such a promising start. Keep up the good work and I'm certain everything will be fine.

Yours sincerely
Mistress Alison

Dear sissy Gigi

First, congratulations and welcome to the wonderful world of sissydom. Although it may feel a little strange at first I am certain you will never regret your wife becoming your Mistress and you her sissy.

In trying to help you with your specific question I'm going to ask you to cast your mind back to when you were a teenager and you met a girl you wanted to impress or when you first met your wife and wanted to win her heart, what did you do? Your wife has now become your Mistress and you have become her sissy, so you are in effect two strangers at the beginning of a new relationship, one that will be the most powerful and most significant relationship of your lives. Think about that, think about how to impress her, think about how to give her the things she wants, think about how you should behave towards her.

There are few very basic requirements of sissy behaviour that should be obvious; always look happy in your Mistress's presence, always treat her with proper respect addressing as Mistress at all times and curtsying to her when first entering or when leaving her presence and to acknowledge instructions, smile, and always thank her for your punishments. That last one may seem counterintuitive, but remember Mistress is only punishing you because you've done something wrong, something to deserve it, and she is trying to correct that errant behaviour and help you become the thing you claim you want to be, a better, more submissive, more obedient sissy. Unless Mistress Debbie decrees otherwise I suggest the following routine: after being given your punishment, and remember it is a gift; curtsy, thank her, kneel down, kiss the instrument of your correction (cane crop tawse etc) kiss each of her shoes in turn, kiss the instrument again, stand, curtsy, say "Thank you for correcting me, Mistress," curtsy. It may seem a lot to remember but once you've done it a few times it will become automatic. If you know, or even think, you've done something of which she would not approve then confess it and humbly ask for correction and her forgiveness. This will help build trust so if your Mistress asks you something like, "Have you been a good little sissy in my absence?" You can answer, with an appropriate curtsy of course, "Yes, Mistress. I have," and she will be far more inclined to believe you.

Rituals are an important aspect of any Mistress sissy relationship, not simply the ritual of curtsying and Mistress Debbie will doubtless wish to set her own for you. In my own case two of the most important are: bringing Mistress tea in bed every morning, wearing my maids uniform, wig, full make up and heels naturally, and at the other end of the day being put across her knee for a gentle hand spanking before kissing each of Mistress's toenails in turn as I thank her and then kneeling while I wait to be invited into bed, or not as the case may be.

Buy her gifts. I love buying things for Mistress Alison, things that will enhance her capability, standing and power as a Mistress. Do the same for Mistress Debbie. I know she has a basic collection of corrective instruments, but a Mistress can never have too many of these, just as you will discover a sissy can never have too many pairs of stockings. In my opinion every Mistress should own at least one multi tail flogger and at least one pair of nipple clamps. If you can buy them without her knowing and leave them on her pillow tied with a pink bow it adds a nice romantic, sissy touch. There are bewildering arrays of each and if you want advice on how to choose then please get in touch. You might want to start with a flogger that has wide falls of suede leather. Falls is the correct term for the lash parts which actually make contact. In general the wider the falls the less painful the impact as the energy is spread over a wider area. You can get them in a wide range of colours, including pink; just type pink suede flogger into your usual search engine. Leave something like that on your Mistress's pillow and you will be sending her a very clear message.

One of the things which gives me huge pleasure is sitting down at the computer with Mistress Alison and browsing through supplier's sites looking for things that would make worthwhile additions to her collection of instruments and toys.

By the same token at Christmas and for your birthday ask Mistress Debbie to buy you sissy things that will enhance your femininity and underline your submissiveness. Requesting things like a pretty, diaphanous nightdress so you can look sexy for her in bed, silk underwear, cosmetics, a handbag to keep them in, a real hair wig, a nice pair of high heels etc, etc will tell your Mistress you are truly getting into the spirit of things.

Do as much of the housework as you can, that's what sissy's are for. Don't wait to be told, volunteer or just do it. Even the most inexperienced sissy should be capable of cleaning and vacuuming. If you don't know how (shame on you) get your Mistress to show you how to wash and iron her clothes, I'm assuming, perhaps rashly, that you already know how to do your own. Learn how to cook and if you have time and your Mistress the patience to sew. As an absolute minimum you should be hand washing your Mistress's underwear every day, though no sniffing her panties. On second thoughts she is bound to assume that you are (don't we all) and punish you for it so why not luxuriate in her unique feminine scent. Sir Thomas More wrote an enchanting poem (I think he was attempting to seduce some young girl) which went:

I've oft been told by learned friars,
That wishing and the crime are one,
And Heaven punishes desires
As much as if the deed were done.

If wishing damns us, you and I
Are damned to all our heart's content;
Come, then, at least we might enjoy
Some pleasure for our punishment.

So you can cite an illustrious precedent.

Writing poetry for your Mistress never goes amiss either, see my second paragraph, and reciting it to her as you kneel adoringly massaging her feet at the end of a long day is better still. It doesn't have to be any good, mine isn't, it's the effort you've put into it that will impress her.

The one item that will indicate your willing submission to her authority more than anything else is a strapon dildo. Before you throw up your hands in horror and say you're completely straight just think for a minute about the natural world. In nature when two males fight for dominance the loser signifies his submission by adopting the pose of a female ready for mating, offering his bottom, though no sexual activity actually occurs and it is purely symbolic. Buying your Mistress a strapon is similarly symbolic. She may decide to use it, she may not, but you have given her the option and offered her your total submission.

Although you have by mutual consent agreed to give Mistress Debbie all the power in your relationship it is not entirely a one way street and communication is still vital. If you would like her to do something or have a hankering to try something then there is no harm in asking in a suitably respectful manner. Quite often I will casually mention to Mistress Alison that a certain item or piece of equipment has not been used for ages. Sometimes I get my wish granted and sometimes I don't, and frequently I get a lot more than I bargained for. It's all part of the joy of being her sissymaid. Why not make a list of the things, and the people, you've fantasised about in the past and give it to Mistress Debbie telling her that now you are her sissy you feel should be completely open and honest with your Mistress. Like me with the instruments, you may be punished for having some of them but your Mistress may make others come true and in your own words the uncertainty will definitely add piquancy.

Like all human relationships your own of a Mistress and her sissy will evolve and develop over time just as your marriage did and like anything else in life the more you put in the more you will get out.

I hope this has been helpful but if you have any further questions then please feel free to ask, though don't forget to ask Mistress Debbie's permission first.

Yours sincerely
sissymaid kitty

Return to Index