from Brandon

Dear Auntie Helga,

I have been a reader of PDQ for years now, and I have mostly read letters from your many charming female contributors who have taken control of the errant men and boys in their lives, and have turned things around for the better. As a long time reader and someone who remembered Auntie Susan before her untimely passing, I think it is long past time I contributed.

I am a sissy.

There, I've said it. Yes, I am one of the male sex, and I suppose this is me coming out of the closet, or perhaps a bit more than I already have. I grew up always knowing there was a part of me that enjoyed frilly dresses and the comfort and humiliation of a diaper or some shiny black flats. My misfortune is that I did not grow up in an environment that was conducive to this.

I like to think of myself as someone who has grown up into a 'good man'. I pay my taxes and my student loans, I help out around the house, I hold a very respectable job as a librarian, and I have earned a Master's degree in history. I have friends, some of whom know my secret, but generally speaking, I lead a fairly respectable life, for someone who is under thirty and still looking for a place to stay.

I cannot say I have always been an angel though, so here is where you fine ladies can snicker to yourself and start planning imaginary punishments to reprimand me. When I was much younger, I had a habit of getting into my mother's old dresses, or baby supplies that were left around from my brother or cousin. I even occasionally made attempts to get another of my cousins or my best friend in on it, by inventing games I would invariably lose and resulted in me being diapered with bedsheets, but of course, they were always smarter than I gave them credit for. They took it all in good fun though, but needless to say, my father did not approve at all.

He never said it in such words, but after the second reprimand in five years, he made some serious threats in an attempt to 'scare me straight'. After that, it was the end of it... or at least the end of me being caught. My father - in an unrelated incident - divorced my mother and moved on, and I became the man of the house, supporting my mother and brother emotionally until she remarried. She has a good husband and our family is close but, old habits die hard, and though I have been far more careful about my activities, I have not been caught again. So yes, I am maybe deserving of being punished.

That said, I do not think I am bad. I've procured and purchased my own naughties and I very much keep them out of sight, and to myself; I very much lead a double-life, between what I do at home and for work, and what I think and do online. I see nothing wrong with my desire to be dressed up or under the care of a strong woman, and clearly most of the ladies here probably share my assertion. However, I do live in a part of the country where being a 'sissy' is very much frowned upon, for a guy my age, and I've never had the courage to date, knowing I'd eventually have to cross the hurdle of what I do for 'fun'. Living in South Louisiana, being a sissy is hard.

If there are ladies out there who are distraught with the men in your lives, be they underage or adult, I sympathize with you. I'm not fond of my own gender either, so sometimes I feel it necessary to apologize for some of the boneheaded things done by people with Y chromosomes. But, underneath the pile of coal, there are some diamonds worth finding and reaching out to; some of us like being sissies, even if we'd never say so in casual conversation, and we wish we could meet people who understand us. We are not all naughty schoolboys.

I apologize if this is overly long, but I hope my words have been insightful. I will happily reply again if people are interested in my story and would like to hear more about the sissy librarian from South Louisiana.


Thank you for your letter Brandon and for being a loyal follower of the site. Not all letters are about actual petticoating cases, just as all readers don't have the benefit of being in that type of relationship, many lead lives of quiet desperation, finding solace in private exploration and self discovery, perhaps some day you will find that special someone, until then take comfort in knowing you are not alone.

Auntie Helga

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Letter 9