from Pam

Dear Helga,

My name is Pam and I am the mother of Joey, who tells me he has contacted you at various points of the day. I browsed your website before sending this, and I have to say your website is a revelation. So I'm very thankful for a tool like your website. Now onto the young man, I did not come to this decision lightly, as I had only read a handful of similar cases and am quite frankly learning as I go.

I'm not sure what Joey has told you, but I get the impression he may not be telling the full story. Since he decided against university, I just made one thing clear that if he were to stay at my household he would need to show come contribution. By getting a job or at least just helping out at jobs around the house. I'm not sure if he mentioned his sister April who is 20 and has been such a great support, in terms of respecting me and working a good job at someone her age.

Well since asking Joey to get his act together 10 months ago, he has not shown even any attempts at trying to find work. I understand its not easy out there, I wasn't expecting him to find a job at the click of a finger. I just wanted him to show me some effort. But things have gone the opposite way, I have caught him with cigarettes (which is a huge no no for me as I am sure it is for you), bringing his friends home at all hours of the night and leaving the house a mess. Sleeping in all day so he can go and do the same activities the next night.

The way I see it Helga, I pay the bills, feed him, supply water and electricity and I am not asking for a lot. So as stated in the earlier part of my message, the penny finally dropped the other evening or early morning when he came home. Myself and April were just irate, and I used a spanking on him, but I know that spankings are not a fulltime option so I bought supplies for regression therapy, from now until I say so, he is going to be the baby in the house. As we speak Joey is being bathed by his sister, and then I am going to put his first of many diapers on my boys back side.

Am I a bad mother for this


Thank you for your letter Pam. Not a bad mother at all, you gave Joey ample opportunities to get his act together, which was most generous of you, he obviously did nothing to improve or to share in the work so your plan for regression therapy seems both prudent and effective to me. Of course time spent as a baby girl could help him to see the error of his ways, I know our readers would love to hear how he is progressing. Joey's emails, if you're wondering, were all about, 'oh please, don't let them do this', blah blah, what a baby.


Return to Index
Letter 4