A brief introduction is in order; Mistress Alison is a good friend and a very knowledgeable and experienced Mistress, she has also been a frequent contributor to PDQ. She is now available to answer questions from both Mistress and sissies alike, assuming a respectful tone of course. These email conversations may well be included at some future date in PDQ though a request for privacy would be respected. Feel free to write her at firstname.lastname@example.org and please don't waste her valuable time asking "where / how can I find a Mistress?"
Dear Mistress Alison
I have been researching the concept of FLRs for some time now with a view to changing my own relationship to something along those lines. I came across what you wrote to a seeker after guidance in the December 2019 issue of Petticoat Discipline Quarterly and what you said to her has made me keener that ever to try to make this happen. I was especially taken with the idea of me calling the shots "while he does exactly as he's told without argument or complaint," I like the sound of that. And also of, "If you want something you tell him, and he complies. If he wants something, he asks you respectfully and you grant or refuse as you please." And particularly, "An FLR does not have to include anything per se except his deference to you in all things, henceforth he can take nothing for granted except the fact that your word is law." I'm greatly attracted to the idea of dressing him as a young girl or maybe even a baby girl in a pink onesie.
However, the question is how to make this desirable state a reality. I cannot imagine my partner ever being a willing participant, or even to trying it as an experiment or sex game. He prides himself on being what he calls a man's man, what we would more accurately term macho or machismo. To be fair he also prides himself on having what he calls traditional skills and is very handy around the house and garden and is good at things like unblocking sinks, putting up shelves and changing flat tyres and is certainly no couch potato. He is physically large and quite strong so there's no way I could use physical force. How you do think I should proceed?
Thank you for your letter, which is fairly typical of a number I have recently received along the similar lines.
There are two issues here: what you want to achieve and how to make it happen. I usually warn male correspondents who say they want their partner to dominate or petticoat them to be careful what they wish for and so I'm going to begin with a few words of caution. In your case you have told me nothing about your motivation and nothing negative about your partner. To me he sounds like the kind of man most women would be happy to have at their disposal. Also taking the lead in an FLR will bring extra responsibilities as power and control shifts from him to you. If he's spending all his time locked in a playpen wearing a pink romper suit then he's not going to be mowing the lawn, cleaning the car or putting out the rubbish; if he's dressed as a schoolgirl writing punishment lines then he won't be putting up shelves. You need to decide how much of that kind of stuff, the so called boy jobs, you want to take on and how much of it you still want him to do. How far you wish to go in reducing or eliminating his masculine traits. It helps to have a very clear idea of your intended destination before you start planning the journey.
You say you do not believe he would ever cooperate even as a game. Do you know this to be a fact because you've asked him or are you just assuming it? The majority of men are incredible malleable if approached in the right way, if you lightly hold his balls in one hand while gently blowing in his ear and telling him what an incredible turn on it would be for you then you might well be surprised what he'd agree to do. If he resists insert your tongue in his ear as you squeeze his balls lightly and pull down, not enough to hurt but enough for him to realise there's an implied threat, and lead him slowly to the bedroom, or if you're already in it to the bed. As I've written before most men have a submissive side lurking somewhere within them and the idea of being led by the balls to the marital bed might be sufficient to bring it to the surface. If he still resists then sulk for a while and say, "I thought you loved me, I'd do it for you. Is it really so much to ask?" I'm sure you get the picture and so will he.
There are four basic techniques you can employ to get your partner to cooperate: rational discussion; direct confrontation, salami slicing, and blackmail. Whichever you choose the key to success is to find his weak spot, his Achilles heel, and exploit it. All men have one, it's just that some are better at hiding it than others, and once you've found it and worked out how to use it then it's possible to get him to do almost anything.
Rational discussion would be much my preferred option because it involves honesty and genuine communication. Sit him down for a serious talk and tell him there is something lacking in your love life and what you want to do to put some spice back into it is to experiment with him wearing your underwear, or to turn him your sex slave, or whatever form of words you think appropriate. Stress that it is for the bedroom only and that outside it life will go on as before. You can always expand your area of authority at a later date, but there's no need to mention any future plans at this stage. Be prepared for opposition and have all your arguments at your fingertips. Don't let him think it's his fault, but that it is something that's just happened over time and which he has the power to rectify by simply doing as you ask to show you how much he loves you. Don't threaten him but make it very clear you will be very disappointed if he is not prepared at least to try. Don't give up and let him think about it for a reasonable period of time. It will work much better if he starts off trying to please you rather than resisting your authority.
Confrontation is a high risk tactic. You tell him what you want, or else. What exactly constitutes the "or else" bit largely depends on you; it could be no sex until he agrees, right up to the nuclear option of leaving and divorce. It tends to work better with men who are dependent, or weak in some other way rather than with strong minded self-contained types who might be more likely to call your bluff. Though I do know of one such man who reluctantly went along with his wife's demands because of the financial consequences of divorce. A variant of this approach is to dress as a dominatrix; boots, black stockings and suspenders, leather bra, etc and stride into the bedroom carrying a crop or whip and cry, "On your knees, slave!" There are very few men who would not find this highly erotic. You don't have to use your crop, at least not at this stage, just threaten and point as you order him around. There is a chance he may refuse point blank and then you might well consider some not so gentle encouragement with the crop, or he might play for time by asking questions, but the worst possible outcome would be him laughing. As I warned previously this is a high risk option.
As the name implies salami slicing involves taking very small baby steps over an extended period, each one in itself being insufficient to elicit much resistance or protest, but taken as a whole mean he slowly submits to your control. A good place to start might be asking (or insisting) he helps you with the washing up, then introduce an apron or pinafore to "protect his clothes." In the bedroom get into the habit of rubbing his penis with your panties, waft them under his nose, maybe put them over his head. Tease him and suggest games that involve tying his hands so he can't stop you/resist you having your evil way with him. Weaponise your sexuality and your sex life. If he refuses or resists tell him he's a spoilsport and you're no longer in the mood. Get into the habit of having sex with you on top, tell him he's too heavy and it's more comfortable for you that way round, and make sure he gets a lot more pleasure than in the conventional missionary position. Tell him the things you're asking him to do are to make it better for him as well as you and they'll make you incredibly randy. Over time he will associate compliance with pleasure and disobedience with disappointment. Keep gently pushing the envelope both in the bedroom and out of it and always reward steps in the right direction. Tell him that you would find it incredibly arousing if he were to wear your panties under his trousers when he's at home, or if he wore your nightie in bed, gradually extend the time and the number of situations in which he wears them. Eventually there will come a turning point when you'll will have to make the transition from asking and bargaining to telling and demanding and only you can decide when you should do this. A good start would be throwing out all his male underwear and telling him that from now on he will wear what you tell him to because that's what you want and because you find it arousing and if he's a good boy and does this for you then he'll get his reward in bed. If not, then you'll know he doesn't really love you and you'll be heartbroken. If you try it and he fails to respond you can revert to direct confrontation and tell him this is what you want, you like him much better the way he has been behaving of late and he'd better do as you tell him "or else."
I have to say that blackmail would be my least favourite technique, but in the right circumstances it can be every effective. In order to blackmail him into acquiescence you have to manoeuvre him into a compromising position, preferably involving him wearing female underwear and ideally with a female witness, comprehensively photograph it and threaten to publish the pictures on the internet, send them to his family, his friends and his work place. It is especially effective if your witness/partner in crime makes the same threat because although he might be able to threaten you or brazen it out by claiming he was set up, having an "independent" corroboration of your version of events will make this much harder. Because he prides himself on his so called masculinity he will be far more susceptible to anything that might damage his self image as a real man and therefore far more vulnerable. If you have used alcohol to break down his inhibitions and make him less aware of what is happening, then this might be a good time to lock him into chastity something I regard as a sine qua non for an FLR. Once you have him safely under lock and key he will be far more amenable to doing your bidding / obey your instructions in order to gain release and sexual relief.
Once you have his agreement, or at least acquiescence, it is important to use the stick and carrot combination to ensure progress in your desired direction. Ideally you don't want him to regard you taking control or petticoating him as a punishment in itself, but more as a way of giving him the opportunity to give you what you need and want, the chance to please you and make you happy. A means to make you blissfully content and sexually aroused, a combination that should be every husband's goal. Handled correctly he will come to realise that less frequent sex means better sex. He will value it more highly and having orgasms only when you are in the mood for one too will make them a more powerful shared experienced.
That is not to say you shouldn't punish him, far from it. If he displeases you, shows dissent, disobedience, or disrespect then condign punishment should swiftly follow. I won't repeat the remarks I made to Catherine about keeping a crop in the bedroom because you will have already read them, but he should be in no doubt about who is in command. How far you want to take this into other areas of your life is up to you, but it does tend gradually to impinge on every aspect of a relationship. Remember the essence of any FLR is that you do what feels good and right for you and he accepts it.
I hope you find this useful but do write again if you have further questions and we'd love to know how you get on.
I wish you both well for the future.
Dear Mistress Alison
Thank you for your rapid and very comprehensive reply to my question.
I gave your advice some considerable thought before actually doing anything, and almost decided to scrap the whole idea. But after some serious soul searching about what I wanted out of our relationship, what I was prepared to compromise on, and what I was not, I devised a plan.
I decided to try rational discussion first, albeit at a very low level, and if that didn't produce a favourable response then move to either direct confrontation or, very much as a last resort, the salami slicing approach. I'd ruled out blackmail as I thought it was highly unlikely to work and even if it did it, I believed it would poison our relationship for ever. Before attempting it I re-read the advice you gave to Catherine several times over and in my mind prepared my answers to what I thought would be his most likely responses.
I told him we needed a serious talk about our future and saw at once he looked very wary. I began by asking him if he knew what an FLR was and he replied that he'd vaguely heard the term but that was all. I explained using your definition and told him I was interested in moving our own relationship in that direction. He became even more wary and his answers more circumspect. I didn't mention petticoating, but I did say that I'd asked an agony aunt for advice about FLRs and how to go about getting one. I had been expecting that his reaction would be anger, or at least annoyance, but instead he was obviously hurt. I don't mean he got all emotional or starting sobbing or anything like that, he's far too stiff upper lip for that sort of thing, but I could tell from his expression and the change in his tone of voice that he was upset.
There was a long silence and I was wondering whether to ask him straight out if he would be prepared to try it when he said quietly, "I see." Another silence and then he said, "Actually, no I don't see anything. Let me get this straight, you asked a total stranger how to inveigle me into doing something you've never mentioned to me because you thought I'd never agree. And now you're attempting to follow the advice she's given you. What does that say about our relationship? What does that say about you? Have I ever refused you any reasonable request in the past? In fact, have I ever refused you anything in the past? I thought we had a partnership of equals." He shook his head more in puzzlement that anger so I asked him, "Are you saying that if I had asked you to do this then you would have agreed? Because if that's true then I don't see what your problem is." He shook his head more vigorously and answered, "Probably not, and it's hardly an inconsequential little favour, but I would have liked to have been asked before you started telling all and sundry about our personal problems. Actually, about your problem." There was more in a very similar vein and it got more acrimonious and was rapidly escalating into a full-blown row so I let it drop.
The following day I had more or less decided to tell him I wanted him to try it or else we were finished when he asked me, in a much more conciliatory tone, "So tell me again what exactly is it you want to do for this FLR thing." I was 99% certain he'd been reading up about it on the internet but I gave him a partial answer, saying, "Well in essence it means you have to do what I tell you, you don't complain and you don't argue." He nodded and asked, "So what's in it for me? That sounds like a pretty one-sided deal." I said, "You get the pleasure of knowing that you're making me happy, and since you'll only be getting sex when I want it the sex you do get will be so, so much better, quality not quantity, less will definitely equal more. For both of us." He thought about that and then said, "You make it sound like the sex we have been having was rubbish, is rubbish, or that in the past I've forced you like some kind rapist. I don't remember hearing any complaints at the time." I was ready for that one and told him, "Just because it was good in the past doesn't mean it can't be better in the future. It's not as though I'm going to ration it (fingers crossed behind my back) but doing it when I'm feeling horny and doing it the way I want to do it is going to make it better for us both. And the thought of controlling my man is making me excited and aroused already, and having my big strong man catering to my every bedroom fancy and fantasy is going to be a real turn on."
I moved close enough to kiss him but instead of doing so I ran my finger down his cheek and said, "Doesn't that excite you just a little bit too?" I leaned forward enough to kiss his cheek and then blow very gently in his right ear as I whispered, "I bet it does," I licked his earlobe, "I bet you've had fantasises about being sex slave, whose sole purpose was to satisfy beautiful women." I moved sideways enough to put my head on his shoulder and said, "I'm offering you a chance to put those fantasies into realty. The more I tell you about it the more aroused I'm getting, and I think you are too." I stroked the bulge in the front of his trousers and said, "I don't think, I know you're getting horny, this little man doesn't lie when he's a big man. You'd better be careful, if you get me any more worked up then you won't be going anywhere today but the bedroom. I'll tie you to the bed and keep you there all day until I've had my fill of orgasms. And then come back for more." His throat must have been very dry because he croaked, "I could phone in sick." I told him, "That's very naughty of you and anyway you might be able to throw a sickie but there's no way I can." I pulled away from him and told him, "I have to go to work, and so have you, you'll just have to wait till tonight. But think about what I've said, because I'm not going to take no for an answer." Then I gave him a very deep and passionate kiss before saying, "See you tonight, and don't wear yourself out because tonight you're going to be busy, very busy. Ciao!"
I couldn't imagine what Rob was going through in anticipation, but I found it all but impossible to concentrate on my work as I thought about what I was going to do to him that evening. At lunchtime I went shopping and bought a pair of black seamed stockings and a black lace suspender belt plus a pair of La Redoute red split crotch knickers. On my way home I went into an ironmongers and bought three metres of thin blue rope. As soon as I got home, I cut a short length off the end of the rope and divided the longer piece in two. Then I got changed into the suspenders and stockings and the knickers and put on my highest pair of heels (75mm) apart from those I was quite naked and I wished I'd bought a matching bra. I sat on the bed with the pieces of rope handy and waited until he arrived. I didn't have to wait that long, but time did seem to be ticking by very slowly.
He came into the bedroom and the instant he saw me said, "Bloody hell! What the, I mean what," and stopped. I stood up and said, "I told you what was going to happen this evening, now get those clothes off. Now!" He stood with his mouth open and I added, "And don't take too long about it. Move!" He very quickly stripped off muttering excitedly under his breath. As soon he was naked I told him, "You are my sex slave and unless you do exactly as you're told you will suffer for it. As my slave you should be on your knees. Move!" I snapped my fingers and pointed to the floor knowing this was a critical point, if was going to resist then this would be when he did it. I was feeling very excited, but as he stared at me wide eyed and then slowly took half a pace forward, bent his knee and went down on it, then knelt on both knees I felt incredibly elated and wanted to shout, "Yes!" at the top of my voice.
I said, "Good boy, I mean slave, now hold out your hands." He hesitated for perhaps one or two seconds then held them out horizontal. I quickly bound his wrists together using the short bit of rope then pulling upwards on the loose ends said, "Up. Move!" He got to his feet and I felt my hands trembling with excitement as I saw the size of his erection and ordered him, "Lie on the bed. On your back. Move!" He lay on the bed and I took one of his ankles and tied a piece a rope round it, pulled it sideways and tied the other end of the rope to bottom of the bedpost above the castor. Then I did the same with the other leg. This left him with his legs spread open in a V shape and his hands secured but able to move and to cover his privates making me wish I had more rope to tie them back above his head.
I began to tease him, telling him how vulnerable he was and how I could do anything I liked with him and he'd just have to take it like the sex slave he was. I took his scrotum in my left hand and very gently squeezed it making him gasp and give a little moan. Then with my right hand I tickled his belly, where he is very ticklish, and laughed at him squirming and wriggling and eventually begging me to stop. I told him, "I might be persuaded to stop if you promise to be a good and obedient slave. Otherwise I might just carry on for the rest of the night." He gasped, "OK, OK, you win, anything." I stopped tickling and began instead to rub his penis and said, "Remember you said anything, because I'm not going to forget and I am going to hold you to your promise." Then I got on top of him without bothering to remove my knickers and pleasured myself to an orgasm.
He was obviously expecting to be released when I'd finished because as I got up he said in a loud voice, "Hey! What about me? Aren't you going to untie me?" I replied, "Don't run away I'll be back when I'm ready for some more. And in future, slave speak only when you are spoken to." I left him to go and get myself a drink and something to eat and was away perhaps forty-five minutes.
He was looking very cross when I returned and began to protest about being left but I held up my right hand and said sharply, "Silence! Slaves speak only when they are spoken to. What a short memory you have. Now, have you been a good slave for me while I've been away?" He grunted and answered, "I don't exactly have much option do I?" I gave him a smile as I ran my fingers over his tummy and felt him twitch then told him, "No you don't, in fact you have zero options except to do as you're told, because you are a slave." I removed my knickers and slipped them over his head with the slit backwards so he couldn't see. Then I kneeled down next to the bed and took his penis in my mouth. He moaned loudly as I gave him oral while massaging his balls. As soon as I thought he was getting near to coming I stopped and gave his balls a little squeeze and then tickled his tummy. He cried out, "Ah, get off, get off, stop, stop it." I continued tickling him until his penis was completely soft, then began sucking it again. I did this several times over, taking him close to the edge and then squeezing and tickling him to prevent him actually coming. He was noisily pleading and actually begging me to stop but also to let him come. I found that experience very, very stimulating.
When I thought he couldn't take any more, and if I'm being honest when I wasn't prepared to wait any longer. I got up and then got on top of him, slid all the way down and then rode him to an orgasm. I wasn't trying to hurt him exactly, but I definitely wasn't being gentle and it was probably the best sexual experience I'd had up to that time. Not necessarily the strongest physical sensations but the total experience was without doubt the most powerful emotionally. When I'd finished, I slid forward until I was sitting on his chest and pulled my knickers of his head. I ordered him to lick me clean and moved forward again until I was almost sitting on his face. I remained there for some time until I was satisfied he'd done a very thorough job.
I got up and untied him and as I did it he rubbed his wrists and his ankles, and I could see the rope had left red marks which must have hurt him at least little. He went to speak but I held my right hand up again and said, "No. Slaves speak only when spoken to. Get dressed and come through. Move!" I didn't bother to get dressed myself just put on a bra for comfort and threw on a dressing gown. I poured us both a drink and waited for him to join me. When he came in I handed him the glass and he downed it one before asking, "Are you always going to be as rough as that?" I replied, "If I've a mind to be, and I prefer the term forceful or maybe passionate. Why? I didn't hear any complaints at the time." He looked down rather than at me and said, "I didn't say I didn't like it, but it was, well, maybe a bit over forceful." I thought about some smart riposte like, "You ain't felt nothing yet," but what I actually said was, "Come off it, you were as stiff as a flagpole, I bet you loved it. But even if you didn't you better get used to it because that's the way it's going to be from now on." He looked at me alarmed and said, "What, every time?" And I told him, "Every time, unless I feel like something different. And they do say a change is supposed to be as good as a rest." He looked even more worried and asked me, "Don't I get a say?" I looked him directly in the eye so he knew I was deadly serious and told him, "No of course not, you're a slave, in the bedroom you are my sex slave and you'll do as you're told and get what you're given and like it."
There as a long silence and the room seemed suddenly very quiet apart from the sound of his breathing that seemed to go on an unnaturally long time. Eventually he said, "And if I refuse?" But I was ready for that one and said, "You are in no position to refuse, slaves don't refuse, slaves obey. From now on it'll be sex my way or no way. No sex at all, ever." There was another long pause and the longer it went on the more confident I became that he would agree, if he'd been going to refuse he would have done it immediately. Then he suddenly broke the silence with, "And will you be wearing the stockings and suspenders every time?" A great feeling, a combination of relief and excitement flooded though me and I tried not to sound too triumphant as I told him, "Naturally, they're part of my uniform, and I know how you like women in uniform." He loudly protested his innocence, saying, "I do not." I said, "Come off it, I've seen the look in your eye when you see policewomen, and Wrens, and female army officers." He avoided answering by saying, "They aren't called Wrens any more, and haven't been for years the navy went unisex years ago." I said, "Don't split hairs, that another thing slaves are forbidden from doing." There was more in a similar light hearted manner but I knew that I wasn't going to have any more serious arguments with him.
Since that evening we've had sex five times, and always with him tied up and me on top. Whenever he's naked in the bedroom I address him as "slave" and add the word "Move!" to my commands. I am definitely enjoying being in command and since that first time I've had no more complaints thought he has made a few jokey comments. But having taken on board your words of caution I'm no longer sure just how far I want to take things. The idea of petticoating him still appeals, but may be less so if it is inevitably accompanied by what you call the reduction or elimination of his masculine traits; because some of them are, as you point out, useful to have available when one needs them. At the moment he's only my slave in the bedroom, everywhere else in the house and when we're out together things are unchanged from what they previously were. I'm wondering if it would be possible to introduce partial petticoating; say in the bedroom and maybe the kitchen, or on certain days of the week and have him as his masculine other self for the remainder. I would appreciate any thoughts you may have about that idea.
I'm sorry if this has been a bit long winded, but I wanted to give you an accurate picture of where we are and how we got there.
It is always good to get feedback and very gratifying to know that advice I have given has been useful and put to good effect. There's absolutely no problem with the length of your e mail as I am always interested in reading the fine details.
I congratulate you on making an excellent start and I'm sure you will go from strength to strength, but I will make a couple of comments. The type of rope sold in hardware shops is not ideal for restraint purposes and as you have discovered it leaves marks and can break the skin or even cause rope burns. You can buy special soft bondage rope, but it is relatively expensive and available only in comparatively long lengths. Old stockings or tights are a much cheaper and very effective alternative, they won't damage the skin and are surprisingly strong. A much better way to hold your partner's legs apart is to use a proper spreader bar, with leather cuffs at each end; they are available in a range of lengths or you can get adjustable ones. Rather than sit on the bed and wait for him I would send him to the bedroom first and make him wait for you, naked and kneeling.
It is perfectly possible to keep your partner fully petticoated without completely eliminating his usefulness as a male. I read your antepenultimate sentence as meaning that he is your slave solely in the bedroom and not anywhere else in the house. I will reiterate what I told Catherine: there is no right or wrong way to do this; an FLR is all about you and what you want. If you are happy leaving things as they are, then that's fine; if you want to take things further, then that's fine too. Only you can decide how far and how fast you wish to proceed, but it might be wise to give your partner time to become accustomed to his new status before moving to the next stage.
For me the obvious next steps would be chastity and a slave collar. Since you have him restrained for sex then it should be relatively easy to tie his hands out the way of his genitals in order to lock him up securely. If you think it will be safe to do so then wearing the key around your neck on a gold chain is a good way to tease him and remind him of your power over him. Otherwise hide it somewhere he won't be able to find it. I would further recommend you acquire a pair of leather wrist cuffs at the same time as the collar then you can clip his wrists to it and render him helpless. Once he has got over the shock you can then introduce petticoating, maybe just having him sleep in a nightie to start, adding more items over time until he has a full wardrobe. A wig, shoes, and make up can be added when you feel it's appropriate. Whether you let him retain his body hair, have him shave it off, or wax it for him, is a personal choice. Some ladies like their petticoated male to look as feminine as possible while others want him to look exactly like a man in a dress for the extra humiliation. My sissymaid, kitty, regularly waxes all over except for her public hair which she keeps plucked into a neat heart shape dyed baby pink and I specify the hairs must be no longer than 15mm.
Taking total control of your man and your relationship does not mean you can't delegate responsibility as you see fit, you don't want him wasting your time by asking your permission to do every little thing. However, do set very specific limits, at least until you know you can trust him. For example; he may use the car to go food shopping, and have his credit card temporarily returned to pay for it, but must at all other time use public transport or walk. He can wear male clothes when going to work, or when visiting friends or relatives, but must have female underwear on underneath. You might also want to set a rota or timetable for him to do man jobs: the rubbish must be out by 07:00; and from May 1 to September 30 every Saturday afternoon will be spent gardening if the weather permits, general cleaning duties if not, minimum hours 14:00 to 17:00. These are just my initial thoughts and I'm sure you will be able to think of other ideas to suit your own particular circumstances.
These are only suggestions and at the risk of becoming rebarbatively repetitive an FLR is all about what you want and what you decide. I think it is also worth repeating that they are also governed by the immutable law of all human relationships; in that they are organic entities that change over time, usually slowly and subtly, but also sometimes dramatically, and that the day they stop growing is the day they begin to wither and die. Handled correctly the male in your FLR will give you a lifetime of dedicated, obedient, and above all loving service to the benefit and happiness of you both.
Dear Mistress Alison
Things are going better than I could ever have imagined. The lockdown proved to be a blessing in disguise as it meant we are at home together pretty much 24/7 and don't have to worry about visitors.
Thank you for your tip about using old stockings for tying him to the bed. They work a treat and leave virtually no marks, and I now use them to spread eagle him whenever I want sex.
I also did as you suggested and put him into chastity, and it was so much easier than I thought it would be. I had him tied to the bed with my knickers over his head, as has now become usual, and had my evil way with him, sex has become so much better now I'm in total charge. Afterwards, while he was completely limp I got a baby wipe and very carefully cleaned his penis and balls and lightly dusted them with talcum powder, my scented feminine powder. He kept asking me what I was doing and I told him slaves don't ask questions and to be quiet. Once I'd got the right size spacer behind his balls, I was able to slip the tube over him, he didn't even start to get hard, and click the padlock closed. I had been expecting arguments and maybe even a violent row, but instead after some wheedling and then outright pleading his attitude became one of resigned acceptance. Having psyched myself up to deal with trouble I was almost disappointed that he gave in so easily. But I still take great care to hide the key before I untie him after sex, just in case he gets any ideas.
Being in chastity has obviously had a profound psychological effect because he has become so much more accepting of my authority and now seldom questions anything I tell him. As I said the lockdown has been a boon; in the second week, when it looked as if it might go on indefinitely I told him I wanted more help around the house and gave him a list of things I wanted done and a timetable. As the lockdown continued, I added more and more items to the list. By the end of May I'd thrown out his male underwear and pyjamas he now wears very frilly knickers (I think you would call them rumba pants) under his trousers and sleeps in a nightdress.
So far the only thing he has protested about are my teasing games, and I do love teasing him, it gives me such a sense of power. I love tying him up and tickling his tummy, it's harmless but as I've already told you he absolutely hates me doing this. In the other, slightly more serious, game I use my lighter and some ice cubes to alternately heat up and then cool down his balls. I don't actually burn him, I would never do that, just hold the flame close enough for it to get uncomfortably hot and when he starts wriggling suddenly grab them with the ice cubes in my hand. Then when they're unpleasantly cold I start warming them up again. He can't see what I'm doing through the knickers so he never knows when I going to swop one for the other, only feel it. I have also tried using my eyebrow tweezers to pluck some of his pubic and underarm hair which makes him actually cry out, and me tell him what a big baby he is. He hates me calling him that as he still likes to think of himself as a big tough man. I loved your idea of dying his pubes pink, and might well try doing it at some point.
So I am now thinking very seriously about what my next step should be. The wrist cuffs and collar you suggested are definitely on my list, and maybe a more sophisticated method of restraint but otherwise I'm still unsure just how far I want to go with petticoating him or whether to use corporal punishment. I'm still attracted to the idea of dressing him as a young girl, but after reading what you said about what he wouldn't be doing if he was dressed as a baby I've given up the idea of a pink onesie. I liked what you told Catherine about a riding crop, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to use one on him, and he knows it. I once smacked the front of his thighs with a bedroom slipper and felt guilty about for several days afterwards. Things have gone much faster than I ever anticipated and caught me unawares.
I am delighted, though hardly surprised, that things have gone so well and that my advice has proved helpful.
Remember this isn't a race and your journey into an exciting new relationship has no specific destination, like any other form of relationship it is all about the journey and the progress you make. You may have to go down a few blind alleys but eventually through experimentation (or trial and error if you prefer) you will find a modus vivendi that suits you. At the risk of sounding like prime minister's questions in the house of commons I refer you back to the last paragraph of my previous e mail. Just as your partner has become more accepting of your authority, with the passage of time you will become more comfortable with your dominance and the direction in which you wish to take things may well change. One thing that will not change is essential nature of the power balance (or to be more accurate imbalance) in your relationship, both of you have now passed the point of no return and there will be no going back.
So I would advise you to continue doing what you are doing and to enjoy your dominance and control and see what develops. If you fancy a riding crop, and what woman in control wouldn't, then get one, even if you use it only for pointing. It will send a very clear message even if he only half believes that you might use it given the right provocation, and few gentle flicks to soles of his feet when he's secured on the bed will work wonders in dispelling any doubts he may have. If you want him dressed as a school girl then get him the uniform and order him to put it on and make him write lines. If you want him to concentrate on doing housework then turn him in to your sissymaid. If he argues use the crop in earnest, there's really no need to be squeamish - keep telling yourself it's doing him good - it's a bit like going to the gym, unless you are naturally sporty then when you first start it's a struggle and you look for excuses to give up, but the more you do it the easier it gets and eventually you get a buzz from it. That doesn't mean you'll become a sadist, it's about enjoying the power and you've already told me you love the sense of power you get from teasing him. This lifestyle offers a world of possibilities and what you choose is entirely up to you; so use your imagination and continue reading PDQ for new ideas, but most of all have fun.