from Andrea

Dear Helga,

My story here might be something you have seen or heard before however for me it is all new. Let me share the events with you and perhaps between you and I there is a good solution tied into petticoating my husband. Picture this if you can I am walking through a mall with my husband when a girl I know approaches me to say hi. At the same time she says hi to my husband calling him Tom when his name is Jim. Now she appeared to honestly know Tom so why call him Jim. I was in listening mode with a woman talking to my husband appearing to know him well and me wondering how. Jim works in an office miles from this mall and Julie works at the bra boutique where I shop. The meeting was more to say hello and ended fairly quick with Jim and I continuing through the mall. I asked how he knew her which he shrugged off as a mistaken identity. Helga if it was you instinct like mine kicked in wondering what was going on there.

I didn't bring it up again wanting to know more from Julie who I visited the following day to buy a new bra that I didn't really need right away. Julie was working and looked after me as usual so we had a chance to chat. We talked about running into each other with Julie mentioning Tom again who really is Jim. I asked why Julie called him Tom when she shared he was a regular customer. Why would Jim be a regular customer of the bra boutique I was thinking to myself. Julie let me know Jim's latest purchases and telling me how cool I was to let my husband wear bras and panties. By now I am just listening to Julie tell me the whole story and playing along like the cool wife I am.

On the way home I am livid hearing from the girl I deal with my husband deals with her too when he is a man. For the next few days other than being confused I get to work reading all I can about men who like to wear bras and panties. We in life often hear of fetishes but never think our spouse might be involved in one. The more I read the more I learned about cross dressing which led me to sissymaids and then to your website Helga. My next task was to find Jim's purchases and with some luck maybe catch him wearing them. Looking through the house I came up empty frustrating me so I kept looking until finally in the basement was a box with some very nice purchases in it. In fact Jim has good taste in lingerie.

I asked a girlfriend is she still had her nanny cam so I could borrow it to possibly catch Jim in action. She didn't mind me using it not having a nanny any longer. I set it up in the basement pointing at the area where Jim kept his purchases and waited a few days to review the files. Well Helga you won't believe what I found saw on my computer. Jim not only stripped down in the basement trying on a bra and panties but in another box he had a pretty sun dress and high heel sandals. He walked round wearing his dress talking to himself until I guess he had enough or knew I was on my way home. I watched this happen on and off for a couple of weeks just to get enough on him and see what other dresses he might have hidden.

So Helga what would you do next? I can't let it go with Jim hiding this behind my back. Leaving him is not an option. Calling him out on it doesn't do anything unless I follow up with a threat. Will he never do it again and do I just take his word, I don't think so. Is petticoating Jim the answer? Your help and or advise would be appreciated if this is an area you can help me with Helga.

Thank you,

Thank you for your letter Andrea. How nice to hear from you and I would be happy to answer your questions, it is not always about petticoating and as it turns out, you are not the first wife to discover her husband's secret and his stash of clothing. Many men with this fetish are ashamed and feel alone, that their wife would never understand or if discovered would want a divorce.

I can imagine your shock and surprise when as you learned more and then seeing the proof on the nanny cam. So really now that you know its time to do something and as you can imagine my advice would be for you to turn this to an advantage for yourself, yes, petticoating is a possible answer. You said leaving was not an option so now you're in it and what to do?

If I might, he is not going to stop and if forced to do so could cause deep resentment and lead to an unhappy life, perhaps alone, I am not trying to be alarmist but realistic. My own late husband had a related fetish and I had to make similar choices and as you can imagine from reading my site, he was my sissymaid until he passed.

Now whither you decide to go this route is up to you, I will say that if you do you will be able to look forward to a life of comfort, living in a clean home with all the laundry cared for, able to relax or visit with friends, well, you get the idea, of course their are a few responsibilities, but not too many. You could decide to ignore his fetish and go on with life as though it doesn't exist and he will continue to keep his shameful secret never being able to share it with the woman he loves. Or you could try to make him give it up and he might, at least in obvious ways. I know I'm not probably telling you things you haven't already been considering, I am letting you know I understand and have some experience with this issue. In closing, I will say that the other wives that have found what you did all turned their husbands into sissymaids and are living a very happy life.


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Letter 6