from Jess

Dear Helga,

The more I think about this the more I am clear I want to give it a go. It interests me on a couple of different levels. To be honest most of the guys I have dated in my day (including my ex-husband) were not the type a woman could dress up. They were more traditionally "macho" type guys and that was mostly what attracted me. It still is in many ways. I guess though things change with time. As I read some of this stuff and learn more - frankly the idea of having a more malleable man is quite attractive. I know in many relationships women allow men the "appearance" of being in charge but know inside that it is not the case. I am reading more and more about "wife led" and "female led" and different forms of female dominance. While I know much of this is quite "real" I had thought much of it was fantasy. I am reading that there are many relationships and marriages that do in fact work this way. Sexual things aside - as a now single mom the idea of having a submissive male in my life, and encouraging that, is quite attractive. When I think of the "sissy maid" idea I am struck that while I like to be "wined and dined" what I need most is help around the house!

My friend, who has never been married, says she has had a number of "submissive boyfriends" and if all is understood it works well. The guy I am seeing is still relatively new to me but it is also clear to me that I am in charge of things.

Well, basically he was horny (very) and really really (really really) wanting it and I was not so much in the mood. (We are still somewhat new to each other). I decided then would be a good time and gave him a "pantie rub down". I don't know what this does to guys but he had (after a lot of teasing) quite an explosion into one of my light blue pairs. I took the opportunity to sort of tell him how much it seemed he enjoyed panties (I am giving you the short version here) In the end when we were getting ready to get out of bed I told him I'd like him to wear a pair for me. It was mostly that simple. I think it was harder for him because he had already had an orgasm so I think it was harder but he did. I think what threw him was that he thought I was suggesting just sort of "around the house... post sex etc". But we were going out to dinner and I asked him to keep them on for me. He sort of paused, not argue but, sort of... pushed back. I told him I really wanted him to (and got very sing song nice about it) etc. Anyway in the end he did. Out to a nice steakhouse! Helga, I have to tell you it was different (what is it!?) just the two of us there with us both knowing he was like this. It definitely makes you feel somewhat powerful. That you "made" him do it. We just went home to watch a movie afterwards and I gave him a "re-rubbing" thinking it would reinforce. I want to see what I can do to make him want/need this.


Thank you for your letter Jess. What a wonderful way to start a relationship, you have already with this method established who will be in control. I suppose now we wait and see how he responds, if he comes back and into a nice new silky pair then you've got him for sure.


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Letter 3