A brief introduction is in order; Mistress Alison is a good friend and a very knowledgeable and experienced Mistress, she has also been a frequent contributor to PDQ. She is now available to answer questions from both Mistress and sissies alike, assuming a respectful tone of course. These email conversations may well be included at some future date in PDQ though a request for privacy would be respected. Feel free to write her at and please don't waste her valuable time asking "where / how can I find a Mistress?"

Dear Mistress Alison

First I would like to thank both Auntie Helga and yourself for such an excellent and informative website.

Two years ago my husband, we’ve been together for almost fourteen years and married for eleven, confessed to me that he had in the past had an affair with a woman at work, he told me that it was long over and that he had been racked with guilt ever since. He told me that it had been a moment of madness and begged me to forgive him. I was shocked and deeply hurt but most of all I was very, very angry and my first reaction was to refuse to forgive him, call him all the names under the sun and tell him that our marriage was over. I told my sister I was leaving my husband and why and it was her that suggested a regime of petticoat discipline was the answer, she also told me about enforced chastity and let on that she had kept her husband securely locked up since before they were married and only released him when she wanted her conjugal rights. To cut a long story short I told my husband he would have to accept being locked in chastity and being petticoated or leave, he said he was prepared to do anything, probably not realising exactly what it involved, and so our new life began. It was like waving a magic wand and I now rule the roost and woe betide him if he even thinks of misbehaving.

During the time I have been in charge I tried various chastity devices in a range of materials but have never found one that is ideal. I have read on the internet of using two piercings, one through the fraenum or a Prince Albert and the other a guiche and connecting them with a small padlock which hangs conveniently out of the way between the wearer’s legs. Do you have any knowledge of this type of chastity? Is it effective and are there any possible problems? Recently you have published a number of letters concerning castration and while that would about as an effective method of enforcing chastity as it’s possible to get it would mean an end to conventional sex, unless of course I took a lover, which would make me no better than him. Helga seems in favour of it while you have advised at least one correspondent against, is there any reason for this?

And if I may ask another question, we have a daughter who will be 10 in November and is beginning to realise that her daddy is different. Do you think I should tell her about petticoat discipline and if so at what age, and if I do tell her should I allow her to boss her father about?

Yours very sincerely

Dear Barbara

Thank you for most kind comments.

Congratulations on having taken control of your marriage; I find it so sad that so many women wait until the man in their life lets them down by reverting to their natural type before taking this wholly beneficial step. I am sure you will never regret it.

You say that you have tried many chastity devices and have yet to find an ideal one. Unfortunately you are chasing a chimera as no such thing exists. Just as there is no best dress, best pair of shoes, or best handbag that’s suitable for all occasions there is no such thing as an ideal chastity device. My own sissymaid, kitty has quite a collection of different designs and I specify which one she should wear according to what she will be doing and where we are going. Changing them also allows me to check her for problems like chafing or soreness and helps maintain good hygiene. I prefer stainless steel to polycarbonate partly because the greater weight means she is more aware of it, and partly because they can be more easily sterilised, even autoclaved if necessary. Some have been modified with the additional of electrical contacts, something which is impossible with polycarbonate.

Before answering your questions about piercings and castration I must tell you that I am not medically qualified so what I say is merely my lay opinion based on somewhat limited experience.

I have never used piercings as a method of chastity and would not do so. A guiche piercing is difficult enough to keep clean at the best of times and with a padlock in the way would be more so. It is also one of the more delicate piercings and like all piercings when subjected to constant pressure in one direction it will have a tendency to migrate, in this case downwards from the weight of the lock and forwards due to the pressure exerted by the penis. There is also the possibility that any attempt at an erection, deliberate or otherwise, might tear one or other of the rings out of the skin with unfortunate consequences. If you are determined that you want your husband to be retromingent it may be better to connect an infibulation (or an apadravya piercing with a small ring replacing one of the more conventional balls) to the rear ring of a neck collar via a chain. This will have its own ramifications for anal hygiene.

I would not have my sissymaid castrated because I want her whole and in good working order to see to my needs in any way I specify and I very much enjoy penetrative sex. I wouldn’t castrate anyone else either partly because I consider it constitutes harm and while I reserve the right to punish as severely as I choose I don’t consider that I have, or indeed anybody else has, the right to do permanent damage to another human being and partly due to legal and medical concerns. I know of at least one individual who has an ongoing catalogue of medical problems as a result of being castrated as an adult at the wish of his Mistress. Helga knows people who have had the procedure without any problems. As with most complex issues it is not a case of one being wrong and the other right, we hold different views for different reasons. In the UK doing it, or causing it to be done would almost certainly constitute a crime if the subject was willing, and definitely be a crime if the subject was unwillingly or acting under duress. It is good that you recognise that taking a lover would mean losing the natural moral superiority of our sex. Mere men may consider satisfying their brutish desires more important than their marriage vows, but as the superior sex we should set an example for them to follow. This is why all men need the firm hand of a female disciplinarian in their lives, to set standards for them and to punish them when they fail to achieve them; only thus will their behaviour improve.

The question of what you tell your daughter and when is really a family issue. It largely depends on whether your daughter is mature enough to understand and also to act responsibly with the information. By the time she has made the transition from girl to young woman your husband should be showing her the same respect and deference he shows you, but only you can judge when that has happened. I would be careful about allowing her actual authority over him until she has learned from you how to use it wisely. Power can be intoxicating and also dangerous, as many inexperienced young men in sports cars discover at the cost of their lives. If you take your time and teach her well she should be able to avoid the mistakes you (and it must be said I) made, and follow the example you have set her by taking full control in all her dealings with men and having the whip hand (figuratively and literally) in any future relationship.

I wish you and your daughter well for the future.

Yours sincerely

Mistress Alison

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