I recently came across a letter to PDQ, entitled "Open Letter to Maid Felicity." The letter is from a Sissymaid Kitty, and basically berates Felicity for grizzling about being punished for adultery. The thing that caught my attention was that Kitty makes a pointed reference to the fact that, in her words, "Your Mistress obviously still has tender feelings for you" and also, "You obviously still love her". Whilst I do find many of the readers' letters, often highly amusing, and also very informative, I think this part of the relationship is often overlooked. No partnership of this kind, D/s or not, is possible without the consent, at least to some extent, of the people involved.
My own husband, Alice, has often undergone humiliations, and punishments, both at my hands, and the hands of others, that must be very hard to bear; and from your readers' letters it appears that she is not alone in her sufferings. However, when it comes to my first husband, who was a brute, when I finally got divorced from him, I did not want anything to do with him, sissified or not, I never wanted to see him again. I was free at last from the bullying, and worse, that I had had, to put up with.
After such a nightmare, I think it was the gentleness, and thoughtfulness that Alice showed me, that made me want to marry him.
He had moved in with his aunt, and cousin, when his mother had died, he then being aged eleven (his father had been killed in an air crash when he was three, so he had never known him). Because of this (I think), he was quite used to being bossed, and dominated, by women, and when I met him, his affection was something akin to worship for me, which quite knocked me off my feet. So that when I found him masturbating while watching my neighbour and wearing panties, I was badly hurt, and reacted by attacking him viciously. Alice did nothing except kneel on the floor, avoiding my blows, and telling me he was sorry.
I know I over reacted, but at the time it seemed that the rose-coloured world I had been living in had suddenly shattered. I banished him to the spare room and debated whether to leave him. The thing was, he was not exactly Mr. Universe in the bedroom and to have been wasting his time wanking really enraged me. As I always do, I brought my problems to my mother who, although she detested him at the time, looked at me incredulously and told me that if I was going to leave a man for wanking, I'd do better sticking to dogs, providing they were neutered, 'All men wank darling, and they do it all the time, married or not, happy or not!'
This eventually led to me taking full control of Alice's dirty little urges, but in doing so I insisted that if she was wanting to dress like a girl she could start acting like one. This is the point of my letter Helga. With my first husband, I was glad to see the back of him, and wouldn't have taken him back if I'd been paid to. Alice is different, in her case I gave her the choice. Stay with me under my terms, or get out.
Thinking about it, for her there was no choice, she had always been under a woman's thumb, and so submitting to the humiliations that I require her to undergo at times, is probably far the lesser of two evils. For myself though, I think there was also a certain amount of capitulation to let Alice do as she wanted. I think she is much happier still being with me, and also serving me, and for me, never having to worry about housework is also very pleasing, and though I do have boyfriends of my own, they only supply one particular set of needs. I could never see any one of them, taking care of me in the way that my darling little Alice does.
Ps. My thanks to Sissymaid Kitty, for inspiring this letter.
Thank you for your letter Mavis. Alice is lucky to have you and the life she has with you, The real world would have eaten her up and to serve you is really the only life she could have with meaning. Of course this is also a relationship, she is not a potted plant but a real human being and love is a large part of it, you had none with the first, you obviously do now and so does she.