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Dear Auntie Helga, Just as I rounded the corner the low evening sun blinded me, I lost my balance it was then that I fell off my bike and scuffed my knee badly. I sat there on the ground and cried, probably much more from the shock of what happened as from my actual injuries. Then my eldest sister, Vivienne came to my rescue, she comforted me before she brought me indoors, I was of course still in tears. While my wound was being cleaned it hurt, and I was crying out at the pain. My father, a bad tempered man, was anything but sympathetic to tears, in fact he became extremely irritated and called me a, Mary-Anne and then a Sissy. When I cried out in pain, his scathing response was to ask, "will I get you a pair of frilly knickers and a skirt to wear? You little sissy, if you cry like a girl then you should be dressed like one too." When my other sisters overheard this they took an immediate interest, Yvonne volunteered one of her skirts and Elodie backed her up by offering to lend me a pair of her knickers, even my eldest sister joined in, she took hold of my hand and led me towards the stairs. I didn't mind going upstairs, it was a relief to get away from my grumpy father. When they began to undress me I tried to resist but they were too strong for me, it was three against one, and all of my sisters were at least a year or two older than me, it meant I hadn't got a chance. They continued to undress me and justified this by quoting our fathers words, at the same time they continued undressing me. In no time I was down to my underwear, then they showed me the flowery summer dress which they had chosen for me, my sister Sarah was true to her word, she produced a lovely pair of her full cut pink frilly knickers for me. They were really fancy, with those symmetrically placed satin bows and ridges of ruffled lace across the bottom, Vivian had selected a pretty pink waist length camisole to complete my undies. I was speechless and beyond resistance, I obeyed them as if in a dream. I lifted my feet one after the other and stepped into the frilly leg holes of the knickers. The knickers were soon around my waist, I could clearly feel the frills around my thighs and I shuddered ever so slightly. I then stood compliantly with my arms stretched out, as the camisole was lowered over my shoulders, in terms of frills it was a match for the knickers which were already adorning my bottom. Over this they settled a full petticoat, because of the many layers it stood out from the waist and rustled noisily when I moved. Next came Vivian's summer dress with the obligitary white cotton blouse and pink cardigan. Lacy white ankle socks with silver buckled black patent leather sandals and my outfit was complete. When they stood me in front of the mirror I was confused by the reflection, it was a short haired girl who looked back at me, I even looked around me to see where she stood. Behind me my sisters giggled and went in search of some hats and ribbons, one of them found a long blonde wig and with the addition of an Alice band and a ribbon my ensemble was complete. The image in the mirror was unequivocally that of a seven year-old girl, my sisters gasped and exchanged looks with each other. Now we are four, I always wanted to have three sisters was the remark coming from Elodie, Yvonne and Vivienne echoed those sentiments. I made such a convincing girl, that they decided to pretend that I was a girl from Elodie's class, by now our mother had come home and we four went to her. She even asked who the other little girl was? We soon found out that she had been playing along though, she had recognised the dress and the other clothes too, although she never expected the girl wearing them to be her son. "So what's your name then?" asked my mother. I hesitated and then one of my sisters answered for me, "she's, called Mary Anne." Our mother replied by saying, how pleased she was to meet me. Yvonne and Vivienne burst out laughing and even the usually stoical Elodie couldn't contain herself any longer, she too joined in with the laughter. Mother still thought that I was a school friend wearing my sisters dress, but when Vivienne swiped the ribbons and the wig off my head the illusion was instantly dispelled. When mother realised it was me, she joined in the laughter too, it was contagious and even I joined in. My father was attracted by the noise of our laughter and when he saw me clad in the attire of a little girl his singular comment was, that, "it was a big improvement on the crying sissy from earlier." Mother took my side and defended me against his jibes, saying that I made a positively lovely little girl. She bet him that he wouldn't even notice the difference between me and my sisters, if I had long hair and wore girls clothes. I didn't want to be the centre of their attention, luckily for me Yvonne distracted them by pointing out that it was tea time, and making it clear that she was hungry, soon my other sisters joined in too. When a couple of hours later it came to bedtime, instead of my regular striped pyjamas I was given a nightdress to wear, it was a beautiful snow white cotton nightdress and again with a pair of lovely matching frilly knickers too, again I was helped by my sisters to get changed. That night I lay in bed feeling the snug elastic around my waist and legs together with the ribbons of satin and the ruffles of lace, when I moved. What started out as a bet between my parents soon escalated, the next morning I was given more girls clothes to wear. When I asked for my own clothes back, I was told to be quiet and behave like a good girl, or did I want our father to take an interest in me again. I knew what was best, so with the help of my sister Vivienne, I began to get dressed. I folded my nightie and put it under my pillow as instructed by Vivienne. Then I pulled my dress over my head, Vivienne settled my skirt at the back, which had been briefly caught up in the ruffles of my frilly lace knickers. Sitting at the breakfast table I spread marmalade on my toast, no longer was I hyper aware of my apparel. When I proved to be so compliant my mother reasoned that I could well wear my sisters hand-me-downs It wasn't all that long before I was kept in girls clothes almost permanently, but when I was at home then it was all the time. From then on I never saw anything but girls knickers and vests or slips. Later on I would realise that it was cheaper to buy girls underwear than boys. I didn't have to wear the hand me down knickers from my sisters but obviously the vest slips and nighties would be passed down. In the winter I was glad to wear a nice warm nightie and my warm cotton knickers too. Only at school did I wear boys clothes, and then only on the outside, for under the school shorts I still wore my simple plain white cotton girls knickers. Then one morning I woke up late for school and in my haste I forgot to change into a pair of white knickers, instead I wore the same pair of pink frilly knickers which I had worn that night under my nightdress. During the morning break I was knocked over by somebody running in the school yard, it was accidental, but still I hit the ground falling on my knees, by stretching my hands out, I was able to prevent my face hitting the concrete. Eventually this was to be my undoing, because as I sat there nursing my knee the frilly pink lace edging of my knickers had peeped out from under the hem of my shorts. It was soon noticed by some eagle eye and instead of sympathy I became the recipient of jibes and calls, it felt like the world was against me, it ended up with them calling me the 'Sissy Boy'. Fortunately before things could escalate further a female teacher intervened and brought me to the teacher's rest room where my injuries were accessed and the necessary plasters were applied. The injuries to my knees and palms were sufficiently bad to justify being sent home, I was kept there until my eldest sister was sent for to bring me home. I was kept home for the rest of the week, and with the weekend included I had a full five days to recover from my injuries. I thought things would have been forgotten by the time I returned to school, but I had underestimated the cruelty of boys. A few days later I was attacked and wrestled to the ground by a group of them, they pulled my shorts off and stripped me down to my undies and they wouldn't even give me back my shorts. Everybody could clearly see that I was wearing a pair of white cotton knickers with a matching camisole, I was totally humiliated by all of this, and once again I ended up going home early with my sister Vivienne. I returned to school the next day and although the teachers had been made aware of the situation, they neglected to protect me from the bullies, by way of a ruse they distracted the teacher, while I was once again stripped down to my knickers and camisole. I was victimised so often that eventually I could no longer continue to attend the same school and it was then that one of my sisters conceived her idea, "how about you attending the girl's school instead, it's not like you never wore girls clothes before and it's only for two more months" she suggested it as an alternative, anything was better than those awful boys, it even sounded like an ideal solution to me. Everybody discussed this weird idea, naturally my sisters were very enthusiastic, when mum heard about it she agreed to speak to the school headmistress. After only a few days I was temporarily enrolled in the girls school as Mary Anne Ryan. But the fourth Ryan girl was going to need her own school uniform, typically generous my sisters all contributed something from their old uniforms. Soon enough I had all the basics with the obligatory gymslip, a blouse and cardigan, I already had my own knickers and other undies so all I needed was the proper clothes to wear during the gymnastics lessons. I was taken to the local sports store where I was measured for my sport skirt and given one to try on. Essentially it was exactly like a tennis skirt, with multiple pleats it was quite short and only reached as far as my thighs, leaving little to the imagination when I moved during games. Thanks to my sisters I had more than enough to choose from when it came to girls clothes, one after the other they had me trying on their various dresses, skirts, blouses and sweaters, they even shared their socks and shoes with me. I had no excuse when it came to undies I had been given everything I needed so it was arranged for me to join the girls school without delay. In the days prior to my new school term I had practised wearing the official school uniform, one thing I didn't want, was to be noticed for getting it wrong. That Monday was a momentous one for me, it was the first day of my life as a schoolgirl, I arrived on time at the girl's school dressed in my official uniform. My sisters showed me around the school and when the school bell rang I lined up with the other girls from my class. Soon enough our teacher came and led the way to the classroom, when we were all seated miss Anson began reading the rollcal. I listened with baited breath as she worked her way through the alphabet, finally I heard my surname which was followed by my new name, henceforth I would be known as Mary Anne. I croaked out a hesitant 'present,' without comment she continued calling out the rest of the names, when she finished calling out the attendance list, she addressed the whole class and asked everybody to welcome the new girl to the class. Without any further delay I was admitted into the class as just another one of the girls. My first day was a great success, I was sitting beside a girl called Milly, she even became my friend. On the second day we had our first gym lesson, I was unprepared and I didn't have the regulation clothes with me, I had forgotten my skirt and top, so I got a reprimand and instead of being excluded as I had hoped, I was required to take part wearing only my camisole and my knickers. I really didn't want to do that again, luckily this time I was wearing the official school undies beneath my gymslip. But the very next week I made sure I was back in my full sport outfit, the pleated sport skirt was a little too short, but better to have my knickers on view rather than get another reprimand. Public spanking was the punishment for a second reprimand, so I had every reason to be nervous about being 'caught out of uniform' as they called it. What I didn't know, was that there were spot checks, if required by a teacher or a prefect, any girl could be required to lift her skirts to prove that she was wearing her regulation school knickers. Half way through the second month I was caught out and ran out of clean school knickers. I didn't have any choice so instead I put on a pair of my usual pretty knickers and hoped for the best. I got away with it and soon I didn't bother wearing school knickers except on gym-days, school knickers were very uncomfortable, in the cold winter days I wore a petticoat under my gymslip too. Then one day disaster occurred, during the break I was involved in an accident, exactly like the first time in the boys school, I was thrown against the ground and hurt my knee quite badly. My knee was bleeding badly and so I was brought to see the School-Nurse, "oh you poor dear" she cooed. I had to be helped onto the examining table, I tried as best I could to keep my knees together while I sat there. She examined the wound, having effortlessly deduced that it wasn't life threatening, she began to clean and dress the injury. The situation was in hand, so she dismissed the other girls and they returned to the classroom. You can try to bend your knee now she urged, but as I moved she must have noticed a flash of colour from under the hem of my skirt. Her tone changed abruptly, suddenly from comforting, to commanding. "What are you wearing under your gymslip my girl?" "Oh but nurse, I have a terribly sore knee" I pleaded! "You can lift the hem yourself, or I will do it for you my girl," she snapped. With great reluctance I hoisted up the pleated skirt of my gymslip, revealing the regulation school petticoat which I wore. "And now you can lift up your petticoat, I want to see just what you think you can get away with underneath those skirts." Of course I was wearing my prettiest frilly pink knickers, I was certain that she was going to report me for being out of uniform, but when she saw them, to my astonishment she even complimented me on how beautiful my knickers were. And then she admitted her own preference, for the more decorative frilly and lacy style of undies and nightwear. To my great relief she explained that, she didn't feel that it was part of her job to report girls who were out of uniform, she was a person to confide in and as such had to be independent. She only referred once to my 'unusual status' as she put it. I was naturally relieved to be off the hook, Nurse Carey did advise me to be more careful, as a public spanking with your knickers pulled down to your knees was very humiliating and painful. She knew as did several others that girls often wore their normal knickers under the big blue or green school knickers. From then on she would always greet me making a point of calling out my name. "And how are you Mary Anne, she would call?" It felt good to have an ally at the school, although the girls accepted me more and more, I still felt like I was on the outside. A few weeks later while I waited in the school yard for some friends, the Gym Mistress called me over to her and enlisted my help shifting some boxes in one of the storage rooms. With the use of a stepladder we began the task, I suggested she stood on the ladder while I handed her the boxes. No sooner said than done, she always wears knee-length skirts with micro pleats, they fairly swirl and swish when she moves. Todays skirt is in a pale blue so light it suggests the clouds. As she stretches to reach the furthest of the shelves, I inadvertently got a glimpse of her knickers. As far as I could see, she sure wasn't wearing regulation school knickers. I was admiring any glimpse I could get of her knickers, they were pale pink and looked very pretty with an abundance of frilly lace in rich layers, not unlike my own. When she had finished tidying away the boxes she picked up the ladder to put it away again, as she did so one end of it caught the hem of my school dress and yanked it upwards. Even though I reacted quickly and rectified the situation, I wasn't quite quick enough, she had caught a glimpse of my knickers, I was wearing my lovely cotton broiderie anglaise knickers and camisole set. Once again I had run the gauntlet and now I was undone. "Ok Mary Anne, just what are you wearing under your uniform?" "Well miss, you see our washing machine is broken and mum wasn't able to wash everything by hand for so many of us." "How old are you, surely you could help your mother by washing your own knickers by hand, I know that when I was a girl, we all helped from an early age." I expected her to report me, but to my astonishment she looked at her watch, "oh look" she said "it's already ten minutes since school closed officially, so you're in the clear this time, but you know Mary Anne, you shouldn't push your luck." When I got to the school gates two of my sisters were waiting for me, I told them about my encounter with the gym mistress, apparently she was one of the nicest teachers in the whole school. I took the hint and from then on I made sure I was always in full uniform. My mother had won the bet, she correctly predicted that my father wouldn't be unable to distinguish me from my sisters, when I was wearing my girls clothes, from then on, I was kept in girls clothes. I am beginning to see some of the benefits from being a girl. Patrick Thank you for your letter Patrick. Such a delightful upbringing you had and I hope you continue to treat your sisters and mother with the respect they're due. Auntie Helga |