from Josie

Dear Helga,

I'm exhausted after talking with my husband for 2 hours this evening about his fantasy laptop pictures. I will try not to bore you to death with everything I found out however if something stands out please ask me for clarification. This was the first time I ever saw pictures like these and the first time I am talking about what my husband discussed with me. To begin with honesty was on the top of my list and far more important than the rest. I let my husband know what I found which was an accident and not from snooping.

The fact was I found it and wanted an explanation where only the truth would be satisfactory. He knows when I speak in that tone it better be the honest truth. After all the apologies we got down to business with the detail I wanted to hear. My husband revealed that he had been fantasizing about having breasts, castration and serving me as a sissymaid for many years. He went on to tell me in the beginning it was of interest to him but over time the feelings grew stronger.

He went on to tell me he wasn't gay or interested in any other women which was a relief to hear. Apparently in his mind he had this all laid out however never had the courage to talk to me about it in fear I would leave him. It is a good thing our relationship over the years has remained strong otherwise seeing his notebook could have been disastrous. I next began to ask questions and get clarification of what was coming out of his mouth.

I had to take a bathroom break and I came back with a writing pad. With my husband sipping on his coffee I passed the pad to him asking that he write down what he wanted from me and what he wanted to do for me. I figured with him writing down what I heard with my ears there would be something to refer back to instead of hearing denial of the facts. My husband wrote down what I had heard before the bathroom break. Without reading it word for word now that it is in the safe I'll give you the main points Helga.

My husband wants me to arrange his castration and breast implants so that he can become my fulltime sissymaid. He wrote how much he loves me and his uncontrollable desire to serve me. I read the note back to him to confirm it was accurate and if any changes needed to be done. Helga I was shaking hearing all of this and reading the note to my husband. I kept calm like it was just a conversation but inside my stomach was turning.

What I asked of my husband was time to digest what we discussed and that he not bring it up again until I made a decision on what to do if anything next. I didn't want him to expect he was going to get his wishes or not get them. It left him in a state of the unknown giving me time to think about it without interruption. Helga when you are back to work on Monday please let me know your thoughts on all of this if you would.

In the meantime I have some soul searching to do.

Thank you,

Thank you for your letter Josie. I read your email about the candid conversation you had with your husband and I hope to hear from you after your deliberations. I will say though that in this lifestyle, like anything, there are variations and no set way to go, some of the more extreme body modifications for instance are often just fantasies.


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Letter 6