from Linda

Dear Helga,

I ran across your website a few days ago while doing some hopeful shopping - actually I was trying to find information that would be helpful for my husband and I in regard to buying him bras. That has been a long standing issue for us, but that is not why I am writing. Besides, I may have solved the bra problem, anyway, since we found a website that sells feminine style bras made for men in Australia. As I looked through your website, I came across your email address and am hoping you can either point me in the right direction, make a recommendation or maybe give some advice that can help.

First, I should probably tell you a little about us. He and I have been married for 26 years. We have two children, both out of the house and on their own. The fact that our children have gone is an important fact because once our youngest left, our opportunity to dress him up was considerably more frequent and considerably more satisfying to him, and myself as well. We live in the Midwest US; he's a successful upper manager; he's very much a gentleman; he's a very good provider and we have a wonderful life together. I've never had any reason to believe he's been unfaithful and I love him dearly. We spend almost all our time together (when he's not working). I was a stay-at-home mom while the kids were growing up, but I'm working at an artist and craft supply store to occupy my time and simply be around artists and craft things. I don't have any complaints about my life or about my husband. He's a kind and considerate person and he's made me a very happy woman. When I say I don't have any discipline or behavioral problems with him, believe me, that is not an exaggeration.

He first told me about his wishes and desires to dress up like a girl after we'd been dating about six months. I don't think any girl is ready for that conversation when it happens to them, especially when they're twenty years old. He told me he had really strong feelings for me and wanted to get his dressing habits out in the open. He was incredibly sincere and I could see he was embarrassed to tell me about it. It was so sweet - he was so concerned I was going to make fun of him or dump him, but I could tell this was important to him so I listened. That night, he showed me his girl clothes and all his lingerie and honestly, I was filled with compassion and it drew us closer since I knew it took so much courage for him to tell me about it and risk our relationship in the event I dumped him.

Probably the most curious thing about his dressing desires is that he has two different girl wardrobes. He has his regular everyday panties and lingerie he wears under his male clothes, which includes slips, camisoles, thigh highs, stockings and all the "normal" kinds of lingerie things you might expect. He doesn't wear female outer clothes at all - no tops or skirts or heels, nothing like that.

Then, in contrast, he has his special things like ultra frilly panties with ruffles across the back, and flowing nightgowns, slips and petticoats that have layers of ruffles, high-waisted full back nylon silky underwear (we used to call them granny-panties). Yes, he has several pink or white little girl style dresses and jumpers - and a lot of very feminine things that I (or most females) wouldn't even consider wearing.

He's been wearing panties daily since forever, and in the winter time, he wears a bra he can hide under his work clothes and sometimes stockings. But, when he puts on those frilly panties or something with ruffles, he becomes a totally different person. He becomes very submissive and demure. It's almost like he's lost all his manhood. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I can tell he loves it, and I'm not going to be the mean, crushing wife that doesn't let him wear those things.

Truthfully, when he dresses up like that (or when I dress him up like that) it's so darn cute, I can't help but enjoy it. too. It's obviously something he desires to a very great extent. I've always played along like it was some kind of role play. But now that the kids have gone, he's gravitating more and more to the ultra-feminine, frilly, ruffly items he has as opposed to his 'normal' girl clothes. As I looked through the pictures on your website, it struck me that some of the pictures there depicted exactly the way he'd like to dress.

So here's my questions to you, please, if you don't mind...

I think he would absolutely love to dress like those pictures on your website daily. In fact, I know it. A wife can tell those things. But, I'm not having any discipline problems with him. He helps out around the house - he's attentive - he listens to me (I mean he actually stops what he's doing and turns to face me when we talk) - if I ask him to do something he'll do it. So, if I'm not having any discipline or male associated problems with him, is he a candidate for this petticoat discipline? I don't know what we would get out of it. Can you help me there?

Is there another kind of male drive, fetish, or desire that explains his interest and attraction to all that ultra feminine ruffle clothing?

I found some discussions on the internet about men wearing bras and panties, and they didn't really talk about this mix of 'normal' and 'ultra feminine' clothes. I found some information about "Sissies" which actually made a lot of sense to me, but still no mention of his desire to have layered petticoats, overly feminine dresses and some of the other things he wants to wear more and more.

Maybe I'm missing something. When I asked him about the contrast in his dressing desires, he just said some times he wants to feel like and see himself like a very girly girl. That's what he said.

From your experiences, do you see anything here that sets off any alarm bells? Obviously, I want to please him. And believe me, we'll spend a whole day playing dress up and at the end of that day, he'll be amazingly thankful and appreciative, and thankfully... a very attentive and satisfying lover (I'm blushing).

One thing which I haven't mentioned until now - and might be an important point (and which I don't completely understand), he gets incredibly aroused when he's wearing his frilly and ultra feminine clothes. He's not quite 50 yet, and while our frequency of bedroom intimacy isn't what is was when we were younger, he can get and be aroused for hours when he's dressed like that. It confuses me, but, believe me - I'm not going to complain about it. I like the fact that he's aroused and erect with me, it's just confusing why and how that happens when he's dressed like that.

I'm sorry to be so unorganized with my thoughts. Please forgive me.

Having read all this, what do you think? Any ideas, suggestions or recommendations?

Thank you for your time and I apologize for writing such a long note.

Best Regards,

Thank you for your letter Linda, and for providing the extensive background information, lets see what I can do to answer a few of your questions. Petticoat Discipline is not all about punishment or because there are problems, it can be more about attitude and if I had to guess, I would say that your husband not only loves dressing like a sissy but would also love for you to be more strict with him while he is dressed, he may in fact want to be your submissive sissymaid. That said, and since you both seem to communicate, you could discuss these possibilities with him. I probably can't answer all your questions at this point about this direction until we have more information, so please do discuss some of these things with him and get back to me. What you both would get out of this, interesting question and I really have no answer for that other than another direction in your relationship to explore.

His motivation could be described as a fetish, he is obviously a crossdresser and that typically starts very early, some believe at birth, its genetic. In any case, here you are today with a husband that simply loves and becomes sexually stimulated dressing like a five year old girl. Many men that crossdress push the boundaries, they may not even know themselves why, each new item brings feelings, some more than others, they explore the variety of female clothing available, from simple panties to elaborate dresses. Right now its sort of sissy clothing, could be formal wear another time.

I hope this helps in some small way.


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Letter 6