from Merri

Dear Auntie Helga,

I relayed to my Mistress that you have so graciously published another one of my letters. She said to say that she is fabulously delighted to see you sharing me with your readers. She laughed and said that I should thank my Auntie Helga for teaching me a lesson. She added that it is good practice for me to share my humiliation with other Women and that I'm to do so in a kind and respectful manner. I'm also to say how happy I am that you are schooling me by sharing my shameful humiliation and that of course I would very much prefer to continue to share my embarrassment with you.

I suggested to her that surely you must be tired of hearing from me by now but she said that she didn't think so and that I was to continue writing until you say to stop. She didn't say to ask you but if you have heard enough from me already please let me know so that I may pass that along to her.

You mentioned the sweet essence of female panties. Is it possible to hand wash a lady's panties without sneaking an occasional whiff? If so I haven't found a way. I don't see how one could possibly refrain from such behavior. I must say though that I would not have brought it up had you not mentioned it first. I'm not sure if practicing that sort of conduct is good manners for a sissymaid or not.

Mistress said that I'm also to admit how very much I enjoyed wearing my sister's panties even though I embarrassed myself by doing so. I have never worn panties that belong to my Mistress because she has forbidden me from ever even thinking about doing that. It wasn't until well after I was a sissymaid for my Mistress that Mistress had me confess to my sister that I had worn her panties when we were growing up. My sister laughed at me because she said that I was such a sissy and then my Mistress insisted that I buy my sister some new panties and bras in order to make up for what I did. That's a whole different story.

You might not think it true but I'm really a very shy sissy girl. While Mistress has gleefully shared my sissy behavior with other Women I would never do such a thing unless of course a Woman insists upon it. I cannot resist the charms of a Woman even if it means revealing something so shamefully intimate. I find sharing my desires to be unimaginably embarrassing so it is not something would I do on my own without feminine encouragement.

Until Mistress decided to take me out on the town I was so shy that I had only been outside a few times when dressed in feminine clothing. On those occasions it was only in the dark and I made absolutely sure that nobody saw me. Mistress had a different idea for me. After I had been in maid service for a while she insisted that I be shown out in public. I'm not sure why but she seemed to get pleasure from that. I think that she liked to see me squirm. I also think that she wanted to flaunt her sexual power over me. The thought of being paraded about by my Mistress like some kind of sissy conquest was terrifying for me. What if people realized who I really was? The humiliation would be unbearable for me. I would never live it down.

Nevertheless I couldn't resist my Mistress. Thankfully she usually dressed me very conservatively. She said that she wanted me to blend in with the other girls so that I would not draw attention. So she made every effort to make sure I dressed in a tasteful manner so that I would not stand out.

She liked to urge me to go out. She would say that I looked adorable and that nobody would realize who I really was. I think that she was just trying to give me the courage to go out. I have to say that the extra confidence helped me. Sometimes she would take pictures of me before we went out and she would say that I looked pretty.

I always try not to converse with anyone when I'm outside because I fear my voice will give me away. The times that I have spoken in a low whisper thankfully nobody seemed to notice. I also try not to look anyone in the eye since I'm just not confident enough to do so.

The first few trips out were with Mistress driving her car thru a drive-thru with me in the passenger seat. Then she became more insistent and she took me out shopping. At this point I have so many stories about going out that I don't even know where to start. Mistress reminded me to mention the time that I found myself at the local women's uniform shop. Up to that point Mistress had me buy my uniforms online so this trip was something new for me.

There were two female clerks working in the shop. A very mature Woman and a much younger girl. Neither one of them appeared to have any idea who I really was or if they caught on they sure didn't show it. Once Mistress introduced me as her new live-in domestic maid I seemed to instantly become invisible. It wasn't that I was treated poorly, it's just that they completely ignored me like I wasn't even there. I had never been viewed like that before-it was extremely demeaning. I realized later that when I was introduced as a maid that in their eyes my status was much lower.

No doubt sensing a big sale they both hovered around Mistress. They told her how fortunate she was to have a live-in maid and how rare that was these days. They asked her what look she was going for with her maid and then they proceeded to bring out dresses and then hold them up for her to preview. I felt it was inappropriate for me to sit down while they fawned over her so I stood aside watching them cater to Mistress without saying a word.

That day I saw my Mistress in a whole new light. She was enjoying the attention she was receiving from the clerks. I realized that having maid service was really much more about her than it was about me. I loved the look on her face while they catered to her desires. I'm sure that she felt special. It was her pleasure that I wanted all along so I felt good about seeing her joy. I decided that if she was happy then I should be happy too even if that meant accepting a bit of humiliation.

By the time the more mature Woman got back to me the other girl was waiting on a couple of young girls who had just landed waitressing jobs. They seemed to be excited about getting uniforms and I did kind of relate to that.

After she measured me for size I had to try on a couple of uniforms and present myself to Mistress for her approval. When Mistress finally decided what she liked she purchased several uniforms for me in two different colors. She picked a black uniform with white trim and a pink uniform with black trim. These were typical maid uniforms like you might see on a hotel maid and they were to become my every day uniforms. The sales Woman asked Mistress if she wanted me to wear my uniform home and she said yes. I was still in the black uniform with white trim so the dress I had worn coming in was put on a hanger with the other maid uniforms. Once the sale was rung up the lady handed the dresses to me. I had to carry them out of the store past the two young girls who were still shopping and out to the car. We passed a couple of Women in the parking lot and they didn't pay any attention to me.

On another occasion I found myself sitting at a cosmetic counter. An experienced cosmetic representative who didn't seem to realize that I wasn't female fawned over me for what seemed like hours while other shoppers casually visited the counter. When she was finished she said that I was such a cute girl that all I needed to do was work a bit more on applying my makeup and the boys would soon be calling. When she said that Mistress giggled. The other female shoppers casually watched while the representative did my makeover. I was so embarrassed that I wished that the ground would swallow me up. Then Mistress had me mix with other shoppers in the lingerie department and then she had me buy several pairs of stockings with pretty lace tops. It was one of my early introductions to leaving the house. I have to say that the experience was erotically thrilling.

Those are typical of my trips outside. I realize that they might be boring to hear about because Mistress has done such a good job with me that I sort of just fit in with the other Women when I am taken out. I guess that I get treated just like the other Women. I've come to realize that there are worse things than being discovered to be a sissy girl. Going out and being so sissified that everybody thinks that you are a girl is extremely embarrassing and even more humiliating.

My heart still pounds whenever I'm outside. I know that I'm just a plain Jane so I don't get much scrutiny and that seems to help me blend in. Going out with Mistress and being perceived to be her girlfriend might be the most thrilling of all for me.

Mistress says that she thinks that I make a fairly believable girl. I'm to ask if you think so too.

Mistress did not give me any other pictures so I am just sending what she gave me.

Most humbly,
Sissymaid Merri
Going Out
Thank you for your letter Merri. I am so appreciative of your Mistress's generous good nature to allow me to share your shame with my many many readers. When it gets to be too much I will certainly let you know, but right now I am enjoying reading about your obviously effective training.

I suppose sniffing panties is something most all sissies do since they, like yourself, had early experience with the erotic nature of our essence and that you wore your sister's panties is of course no surprise. Mistresses vary and some frown upon the maid indulging their libido by using their soiled panties others feel as I do that these small allowances are basically harmless and can further the sissy's training.

More and more sissies are going out with their Mistresses and I can see from the photos you sent that you made her proud, you do look very feminine. I very much enjoyed reading about your typical trips with her, so special.

Auntie Helga

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Letter 9