from Marie

Dear Helga,

I am a 46 year old widow with a daughter of 22 years, and a son of 8 years old. My daughter has a lovely fiancé, and they intend getting married in October this year. This has been a quick decision, and a complete surprise to me. As James, her fiancé has no family, they have decided on the use of a registry office. Sally, my daughter wants to wear a simple bridal dress for the occasion. I was dumbfounded when she told me that she wanted David, my son, to be her bridesmaid. As you can imagine, an argument was had and no agreement was reached, despite the fact that David had agreed to being her bridesmaid. I was not at all happy that he had been asked, let alone agreed to her request, without my knowledge.

After looking at various sites on the Internet, I have found that there have been occasions where boys have been bridesmaids. Whilst I haven't made my decision, if I did agree, I would be very worried and concerned about the transformation. I cannot see that a boy can just put on a dress and be taken for a girl.

It it seems that you are experienced in dressing boys as girls so I would like to ask you if you think that it is possible for a boy to take on the role of a bridesmaid.


Thank you for your letter Marie. I can understand your concerns though most 8 year old boys can be made to look like girls their age and since this is a one time thing, much like a theatrical play or Halloween, any lasting effects are probably minimal. He would not be the first boy to do this and it is certainly possible to do so and to make it a wonderful family occasion for all involved.


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Letter 3